Thankfulness & Rainy Days

I am halfway through my second week of summer, it's a particularly rainy, dreary week where I'm spending much of my time organizing old treasures, being crafty, and talking with the dogs. it's quiet, but I'm learning to enjoy it. My nannying job should be starting up pretty soon, and camp won't be starting up for another month- so I'm thinking I should soak in this relaxation time and relish it for as much as it's worth.

I've starting reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and granted I'm only on

the second chapter but so far she's said some things that have really got me thinking about life and whether I'm living it out in a way that's pleasing to the Lord or if I'm wasting my days away.
It's easy for me to think that days like today are 'wasted days,' the days where it's pouring down rain and the only thing on my schedule is to take my sister to school and clean/organize something, but those aren't wasted days. The wasted days are the days we don't take time to spend with the Father, the days we are incessantly ungrateful- and I have to admit I've had quite a few of those days this summer but I've decided that those days will be no more. We are flooded with too many blessings each day to live ungrateful and selfish lives.

"Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other."- Ann Voskamp

Also this week I've been looking at Ecclesiastes 11, which reminds me of something out of a Dr. Seuss book.

"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again." 11:1

- So I'm not really sure what this verse means, at all. I think it could mean something about holding things loosely, sharing what we've been blessed with because God will continue to provide.

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, Maker of all things." 11:5

- This one is a bit easier to figure out and I love it- we can't even begin to comprehend our God's ways but they are perfect and amazing.

"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all but let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless." 11:7-8

- Take time to enjoy each day, be thankful for each one. Don't forget the difficult or 'dark' days of your testimony because God uses them too to sculpt us into who He's created us to be.

"So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." 11:10

- Banish anxiety and worry and fear from your heart- for our desires and are youth mean nothing in comparison to Christ and living for Him.

After spending much of this week searching through the drawers and boxes of the room my sister and I grew up in- sorting through the 'treasures' we've kept over the years these verses kind of hit me a different way. I may be an 'adult' now, but I'm still young and there is more of my life ahead of me (Lord willing) than what is behind. Although all that remains of my childhood are memories, photographs and boxes of 'treasures' there is still a sweetness to life. There is sweetness in each season of life, no matter which season you're in, there is beauty in each day- if you take the time to notice it.

So my goal for the next few weeks is to take more time to spend with the Father, be grateful for each moment I get to spend with those I love and overflow with thankfulness for all Christ has done for me. Soak in the sweetness and beauty of each day- whether it's full of tasks or empty of tasks.

Sunshine

Yesterday was my birthday, for 22 years now I've been living on this earth. It's crazy to think that I'm getting that old...I know that I will never be any younger than I am today but I feel as if 22 is an age where you truly become a grown up. It's exciting, bittersweet, scary, and beautiful all at the same time.

It was a wonderful birthday full of friends, sunshine and love. I spend the majority of the day enjoying the sunshine on a hike with three of my closest friends here at Ship and laying on a beach of a lake not too far from school (the same place actually where Ethan and I got engaged a few months ago). They were calling for rain on Tuesday and miraculously it was warm and sunny all day! I loved it! We came back then and got ready for a dinner out- which was equally as good.

This past weekend I headed to Lancaster to hang out, celebrate my birthday with Ethan and (the real reason for being in Lancaster) to surprise my best friend Kari at her school's senior commissioning- and it was a success!

God has blessed me with so many wonderful people in my life, and I am not deserving of it in the least bit, but I'm so thankful for each and every person He's placed along my path :)

The past few days I've been thinking quite a bit how even though I'll be coming back in the fall I'm kind of closing the door or 'rounding' a corner in my college life, or I guess really with life in general. So many things are about to change: this summer I will be taking on a different role at the camp I've been working at the past few years and at the end of the summer, in the fall my sister will begin her first year of college and I'll be starting student teaching, beginning my job hunt and planning for my wedding. Today I completed my last final of my college career and my summer has begun. My roommates and best friend will be graduating this weekend and as everything shifts and changes I know that there is a constant. God is here, He always has been and He always will be. The same God who created the universe and holds it together is in control of my life even if the changes seem like madness He's got it.

A few days ago the director of the camp I work at emailed me the idea of being the camp's bible teacher this summer instead of taking on the role as the arts & crafts teacher. The idea scared me a little, the idea of leading chapel each week really, and so I spent a few days praying and trying to determine if this is what God had planned for me this summer. While trying to figure it out someone shared this passage with me:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. - Philippians 4:12-13

Verse 13 is a familiar verse to most, but this really got me thinking that no matter what obstacle stands in my path, if Christ is my anchor, the one whom my identity and fully reliance is in- nothing is impossible. After I responded to the camp director that I knew it would be a stretching experience but I was willing to try it out I got a text from my friend saying that someone she knows was really interested in the job. It's interesting how God does things, I had come to a decision that I was going to trust Him in it and knew that He would give me all I needed for that job then in the end I won't be doing it after all. It was a lesson that He's more interested in the molding and teaching than in the outcome. So, this summer I will be teaching arts and crafts at camp and she will be doing bible. I'm pretty excited and content in the fact that God will use each person at camp this summer, regardless of our job descriptions, to spread His name, show His love, and bring Him glory and I will continue to trust that He'll be more than enough for me in whatever I'll be doing. I. can't. wait.

Welp, I think that's enough for today. Hope this post finds you in the middle of a beautiful week whether it's rainy or sunny, happy or sad we have Christ and in that we can rejoice and that is truly beautiful!

Mashed Potato Hugs

Today was my last day at placement. I spent the morning teaching the most crucial skills of hula hooping and hopscotch in the warm sunlight. Once inside I discussed with three girls their paintings and noticed one girl has been continuously making pictures of her at the "big school." Kindergarten registration has come and gone and the majority of the children in the class have gone to visit their 'big schools' and the conversations about them and how different it will be have been flowing for a few weeks. I spent a good chunk of the rest of my day listening to and trying to calm some the fears of three small girls going to Kindergarten in the fall. We read books, looked at pictures and I shared with them what I remember about Kindergarten and what Kindergarten was like when I taught in it last semester. It really got me thinking about how often instead of embracing and being excited about life changes I fear them and avoid that they will be coming soon. I feel like fearing change and the future is some what natural. I've hit an age in life where most everyone around me is taking the leap of leaving home, leaving college, moving into searching for a career and becoming adults. It is a scary time, transition and change are full of unknowns and it's usually not the most comfortable thing but looking back there are so many events and changes in life that if we let fear take over and avoided them completely we would not be the people we are today.

God uses the difficult things, the hard things, the transitions to refine us, to make us more like Him- to be the people He created.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:6-7

Even though the girls I talked with this morning are only five, they have fears and worries about their future- though those fears seem small to us they are GIGANTIC to them. We all know that Kindergarten is not so scary a place, once you've been there and that once it turns time to move onto middle school similar feelings of fear start to arise but then we realized it really wasn't soooo bad. Just like those fears seem small to us now and how they molded us into who we are; our worries about where we'll work, live, what we'll be in five years will shape us into who we will be. God knows where we'll be in five years, and what we'll be doing- He's held each of us through our entire lives- He's drawn us into Him and He will continue to do so into eternity. We have no reason to worry or fear because the God who made the universe holds our little lives in the palm of His hand and He won't let us go.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken." - Psalm 62:5-6

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:28-33

Today as I left to head to my last college classes of my undergrad, I left my little pre-kers eating their lunch of turkey and mashed potatoes. I stood at the door and said goodbyes to them all, told them I will miss them, that I hope that I'll see them again some day, wished them a good rest of the year. I was then stampeded by eighteen four and five year olds covered in mashed potatoes giving me the biggest group hug I've ever received. I sincerely will miss them, I don't know what the God has planned for their lives but I pray that they will come to know Him, rest all of their worries and cares in Him, and walk in His glorious plan for their lives.

Conqueror, Provider, Protector

Happy (belated) Easter! He's alive!

I spent the morning with my family eating jelly beans and chocolate eggs for breakfast. Then headed to church, and home for leisurely ham lunch before I headed out to Lancaster to spend a little bit of the day with Ethan's family, and have some more ham.



On my drive out to Lancaster and then the rest of the way to school between belting out songs along with whatever cd I had in at the time I thought about how many different qualities God has and how truly faithful He is and has been in my life.

Let me go back to the beginning of my weekend.

Friday night I hurried home after a short visit to Lancaster for lunch because I had an interview with a potential family for nannying this summer. I walked in the door when I got home to my mom yelling throughout the house "Dinner's ready, come sit down!" I dropped my bags in my room and headed to the table to realize it was one of my favorite home meals (Fried eggplant Parmesan with fresh tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil mmmm mmm mmmm!!)! They made it special for my weekend homecoming :)

After dinner I went to my interview. I have been looking for a second job to supplement working at camp this summer. I really wanted to spend this last summer home working at camp again, ministering to the kids and loving on kids in a way that at camp you only can. Without working during the school year and planning a wedding and things like moving out I was in need of a little bit more than what I would be making at camp alone- and after all I'm not really at camp for the money. I shyed away from working at a store because I knew it would be really difficult to get the hours in around my camp schedule; I called a few places for tutoring and things like that but the doors were shut immediately. A few months ago I had joined an online nannying service and I saw that a woman ten minutes from my house was looking for care for her baby that fit my camp schedule so perfectly, so I applied. The family was SO nice and the little girl SO adorable! andddd.... I got the job! God provides! That job just fit soooo perfectly that I know it was His hand leading that fully!

Saturday morning I got to spend almost the entire day with my friend, Kari, and at as always it was such a blessing just to talk and hang out together. Our hearts are so alike and she is the one friend who knows me better than I know myself, who will be completely honest, and I can do/say almost anything and she'll still accept me for who I am. She's the loving,genuine, godly friend that God has provided me with along this journey, who I don't know what I would do without.



That night her and I went to visit our other good friend Brittany. Late at night (around 9:30) the three of us decided, like typical college students, that we were going to go to get some Rita's water ice. Then came a pretty scary event: After Kari had ordered and Britt was ordering I was glancing around our surroundings and saw a man in a hoodie and mask walking briskly towards us! He came right next to me and said to the three of us "Get the __ out of here!" my friend yelled "Run girls!" we ran to my car, locked the doors, and I turned my car on. Scary stuff. We saw the man run off into a neighborhood behind the Rita's so I turned my car off, figuring the police would be there soon, and they were. The police asked us to stay around because the three of us were really the only ones who got a good look at him, and were the main witnesses since we were the only ones at Rita's. They asked us what happened and what he looked like over and over again to get a solid description and then asked us if we could get in a car with them to identify a suspect they had found nearby. It turned out that we didn't think that they man they found was the same guy, and I'm not sure what happened to him afterwards but what keeps hitting me is what could have happened. He could have had a weapon, so much could have happened, but it didn't and I'm so grateful. God is the ultimate protector and He was with us through that whole night, just like He is every day. I'm still a little shaken up about that night, but I know that I have the one who conquered sin and death and fear through the cross and resurrection living inside of me and I have no reason to be afraid in any situation.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:28-379

Frustration & Encouragement

So I know just yesterday I posted about taking time each moment to be thankful but today I'm finding it incredibly difficult. It was one of those days at preschool where it seemed that every time I asked a child to do something or asked them for help they gave me this smirk looked me in the eye and said "no" with great confidence that there was nothing I could do to convince them that getting off the top of the book shelf, shoving bottle lids in their mouths, or trying to free the classroom caterpillars into their toy cars for a spin around the classroom carpet is not a great idea. Four year olds can make you feel defeated (believe it or not), don't get me wrong I love kids but some days, like today, I just wish they would willingly listen. My friend Kari wrote the other week about how teaching has really made her think about how often our student's disobedience and lack of willingness often reflects our responses and attitude towards God (See here). I know today I just let these events frustrate me and overshadow all of the positives and became discouraged as a result. Tomorrow morning I will greet them each as they get off of the bus with hug and a smile, because it will be a new day and in order to show Christ's love to them I'll need to have an attitude and outlook more like His.

Last night I was reading through a book our pastor gave us on Sunday and came across this quote: "What could He do in you and through you if you believed he has already blessed you with every spiritual blessing, delivered you out of the kingdom of darkness, and taken you who were dead in sin and made you fully alive in Christ?" -Henry & Melvin Blackaby

Think about it, if only each day we realized and recognized how much He has done for us, especially on days like today, how much more could He use us and how much more would we see Him woven throughout our days?

I also came across this song that I wanted to share:


Also, I came across this today- another great reminder:

‎"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

Warm Weather & Reminders

Today was beautiful. After a weekend of cold and rain today was beyond amazing. When I got home from Pre-K I decided to head to a park in town to read and journal (one of my favorite things to do on a beautiful day)! While there I got a call from one of my teammates from this past summer that I've been trying to get in contact with for a few weeks. It really made me miss the team, and reminded me of so much that happened this summer. It reminded me also that for as close as our team is, and for how rarely we talk now- we experienced something so unique this summer. We are a family, spread apart by many miles, each of us living very different lives but- we are unified in Christ. Whenever a phone call is made conversation picks up where it left off. I miss them very much tonight. We laughed on the phone reminiscing of the funny things that happened, and talked about some of the things that went unknown to us until we were back in the states. Then she said something a little more serious like "You know...I wish while we were there we wouldn't have complained as much as we did, I wish that we would have just looked at what was going on around us and took it in without hoping for anything more."

How true is that for everyday? We spend so much time hoping for the next thing. In Africa it was things like a shower, dreaming about what we would eat first when we got home, being excited to see our family and friends when we got home. I am not saying at all that in the moment I wasn't grateful for the experiences, because I really was, but I could have been more present in the moment. I think we all could be a little more present in the seasons we are currently in, in the moments that pass us by each day.

In church yesterday the pastor talked a little bit about how each day we spend a significant amount of time looking down on ourselves, or thinking that we're not getting what we deserve (there is a difference between humility and thinking poorly of ourselves). He talked about how these things can become idols, I had never really thought about it that way. When we complain about things and act as if we are entitled to something it kind of is like telling God that what He has for us isn't enough, like saying that we know better.

So this week I'm hoping to live with this new perspective. To be thankful and focused on who Christ is and all He's done. To not dwell on the things that aren't or on my desires but on what is.

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3