Hello!
So I feel like not too much has changed since I posted last but I still feel like it's time for an update. A week ago I started interning at my preschool placement. Each time I go, I get up before the sun and head about a half hour away to ride the bus to pick up all of the children to go to school. For my first day I was super excited, not completely because I was finally starting my placement, but more so because I was going to be able to ride the bus on the way to A SCHOOL. I know this sounds completely ridiculous but, being someone who was categorized as a 'walker' from kindergarten up through high school, riding a school bus is still an exciting thing...at 21. My first day went smoothly, I spent most of it playing with the kids and getting a feel for their particular classroom. The assistants in the room had me do a little bit of sweeping and cleaning up around the room, but over all I enjoyed it. On the bus ride home the kids started asking the driver if she could play the radio for them, after a few children asked for the radio so she turned it on- and to my surprise they knew the majority of the words to each of the songs that came on, and undoubtedly at least one child on the bus knew who the singer was and the correct title for the song. This shocked me- something is not right in our world when a child can't tell you all of the letters in their name or read yet, but can sing every word to a Lady Gaga, or Justin Beiber song on the radio. It made me sad to think about how much these children DO know at such a young age, and how much they don't know at the same time.
I've gone back a few more times and progressively my time has been spent being asked to do things like clean the toilets, or sterilize the silverware and less and less time actually interacting with children. Another girl from my class and I decided that it was time to talk to our professor about this and see if these types of things are what we're supposed to be doing or not. Our professor is going to have a talk with the director of our school.
This got me thinking though about how I did the things that were asked of me, but my heart was so negative about it. In fact I've noticed how begrudgingly I have completed most everything the past few weeks. Although I enjoy my classes, I feel as if I'm not really getting anything out of them, my roommates aren't around much at all so I spend a lot of time alone, and it's cold out. I've just become quite the complainer. It's time for this to change. I need to start recognizing the blessings and being thankful for what God's doing in my life right now instead of waiting and hoping this will all be over soon. He has a reason for the quiet of my apartment, for the loneliness I feel, for me being in that school, for the classes I'm in and for me graduating a semester late. Although, it may seem easier to just 'do what I have to do' and complain about it- how much better would life be if I just looked at the blessings that God pours on me each day. I may not know why life is like this right now, but He has a purpose for it and instead of moping around and complaining about it- maybe I should take that time to thank Him and seek His purpose in all of it.
His thoughts and plans are bigger than I could imagine, my life does not belong to me- it is hidden in Him. I have nothing to complain about.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
So with all that being said (sorry for the depressing tone of all of the above :)) I will now make a list of some of the blessings God has given me.
- I am able to go to college, to take classes, and work with children
- I don't have to worry where my next meal is coming from
- My apartment has heat (and we don't have to pay for it)
- I have a family and although sometimes they show it it strange ways, they love me
- Jesus died to save ME, that's the biggest blessing of them all
- The sun is out today, and it's kind of spring-like
- I have some amazing friends, who I know are there for me- even when I can't see them
- I have a wonderful fiance who listens to my complaining and encourages me
- I am able to plan a wedding
- I have my own room and a significant amount of 'free time'
- I made a dessert on Friday afternoon, and it turned out much better than I expected it to
- I have a car, with gas in it
- I was able to go to Africa this summer on a missions trip and was taught so SO much
There are a lot more, I'm sure of it. This week I'm going to take time to note the blessings and not the complaints- after all, what do I really have to complain about anyway???
Have a great week!
"Discontent will destroy your peace, rob you of joy, make you miserable and spoil your witness. We dishonor God if we proclaim a God who satisfies and then go around discontent." J.I. Packer
