I'm a college graduate!!!!
I graduated Saturday and since then it has been non-stop Christmas preparation with the family. I'm finding it hard to focus on the meaning and purpose of Christmas. All I can think about is the next four months and what lies ahead. I already miss my students, the busyness of teaching and being in front of a classroom full of children- and it's only been one week. I've applied a few places for subbing but haven't heard anything back yet- which is expected being the week before Christmas and all. I just wish I could square everything away and be ready to start working right after new years, but I'm going to need to wait on God's timing and stop trying to get things to work according to mine. Ha running theme of my life- I need to let go of my grip of control.
I've also been struggling lately with identity. I've been a student for almost all of my life, about 18 years, and now I'm not. I've noticed that I've placed so much of my identity in that part of myself and now that 'student' isn't a term that defines me I feel lost. It's a reality check in how much I place my identity in Christ and who He says I am as opposed to how this world defines me.
I'm hoping over the next few weeks to find a part-time job, start subbing, continue with wedding/marriage plans (it's about 4 months away!), and build on my support system here. After my siblings and friends head back to school I'll be living here for the next few months- I'm planning to look into the small groups at my church and possibly join one. Although I'll only be living here for a brief time I don't want to miss the opportunities God has for me now because I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter to begin.
Showing posts with label being present. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being present. Show all posts
December 22, 2011
May 18, 2011
Thankfulness & Rainy Days
I am halfway through my second week of summer, it's a particularly rainy, dreary week where I'm spending much of my time organizing old treasures, being crafty, and talking with the dogs. it's quiet, but I'm learning to enjoy it. My nannying job should be starting up pretty soon, and camp won't be starting up for another month- so I'm thinking I should soak in this relaxation time and relish it for as much as it's worth.
I've starting reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and granted I'm only on
the second chapter but so far she's said some things that have really got me thinking about life and whether I'm living it out in a way that's pleasing to the Lord or if I'm wasting my days away.
It's easy for me to think that days like today are 'wasted days,' the days where it's pouring down rain and the only thing on my schedule is to take my sister to school and clean/organize something, but those aren't wasted days. The wasted days are the days we don't take time to spend with the Father, the days we are incessantly ungrateful- and I have to admit I've had quite a few of those days this summer but I've decided that those days will be no more. We are flooded with too many blessings each day to live ungrateful and selfish lives.
Also this week I've been looking at Ecclesiastes 11, which reminds me of something out of a Dr. Seuss book.
"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again." 11:1
- So I'm not really sure what this verse means, at all. I think it could mean something about holding things loosely, sharing what we've been blessed with because God will continue to provide.
"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, Maker of all things." 11:5
- This one is a bit easier to figure out and I love it- we can't even begin to comprehend our God's ways but they are perfect and amazing.
"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all but let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless." 11:7-8
- Take time to enjoy each day, be thankful for each one. Don't forget the difficult or 'dark' days of your testimony because God uses them too to sculpt us into who He's created us to be.
"So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." 11:10
- Banish anxiety and worry and fear from your heart- for our desires and are youth mean nothing in comparison to Christ and living for Him.
After spending much of this week searching through the drawers and boxes of the room my sister and I grew up in- sorting through the 'treasures' we've kept over the years these verses kind of hit me a different way. I may be an 'adult' now, but I'm still young and there is more of my life ahead of me (Lord willing) than what is behind. Although all that remains of my childhood are memories, photographs and boxes of 'treasures' there is still a sweetness to life. There is sweetness in each season of life, no matter which season you're in, there is beauty in each day- if you take the time to notice it.
So my goal for the next few weeks is to take more time to spend with the Father, be grateful for each moment I get to spend with those I love and overflow with thankfulness for all Christ has done for me. Soak in the sweetness and beauty of each day- whether it's full of tasks or empty of tasks.
I've starting reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and granted I'm only on
the second chapter but so far she's said some things that have really got me thinking about life and whether I'm living it out in a way that's pleasing to the Lord or if I'm wasting my days away.
It's easy for me to think that days like today are 'wasted days,' the days where it's pouring down rain and the only thing on my schedule is to take my sister to school and clean/organize something, but those aren't wasted days. The wasted days are the days we don't take time to spend with the Father, the days we are incessantly ungrateful- and I have to admit I've had quite a few of those days this summer but I've decided that those days will be no more. We are flooded with too many blessings each day to live ungrateful and selfish lives.
"Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other."- Ann Voskamp
Also this week I've been looking at Ecclesiastes 11, which reminds me of something out of a Dr. Seuss book.
"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again." 11:1
- So I'm not really sure what this verse means, at all. I think it could mean something about holding things loosely, sharing what we've been blessed with because God will continue to provide.
"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, Maker of all things." 11:5
- This one is a bit easier to figure out and I love it- we can't even begin to comprehend our God's ways but they are perfect and amazing.
"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all but let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless." 11:7-8
- Take time to enjoy each day, be thankful for each one. Don't forget the difficult or 'dark' days of your testimony because God uses them too to sculpt us into who He's created us to be.
"So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." 11:10
- Banish anxiety and worry and fear from your heart- for our desires and are youth mean nothing in comparison to Christ and living for Him.
After spending much of this week searching through the drawers and boxes of the room my sister and I grew up in- sorting through the 'treasures' we've kept over the years these verses kind of hit me a different way. I may be an 'adult' now, but I'm still young and there is more of my life ahead of me (Lord willing) than what is behind. Although all that remains of my childhood are memories, photographs and boxes of 'treasures' there is still a sweetness to life. There is sweetness in each season of life, no matter which season you're in, there is beauty in each day- if you take the time to notice it.
So my goal for the next few weeks is to take more time to spend with the Father, be grateful for each moment I get to spend with those I love and overflow with thankfulness for all Christ has done for me. Soak in the sweetness and beauty of each day- whether it's full of tasks or empty of tasks.
April 11, 2011
Warm Weather & Reminders
Today was beautiful. After a weekend of cold and rain today was beyond amazing. When I got home from Pre-K I decided to head to a park in town to read and journal (one of my favorite things to do on a beautiful day)! While there I got a call from one of my teammates from this past summer that I've been trying to get in contact with for a few weeks. It really made me miss the team, and reminded me of so much that happened this summer. It reminded me also that for as close as our team is, and for how rarely we talk now- we experienced something so unique this summer. We are a family, spread apart by many miles, each of us living very different lives but- we are unified in Christ. Whenever a phone call is made conversation picks up where it left off. I miss them very much tonight. We laughed on the phone reminiscing of the funny things that happened, and talked about some of the things that went unknown to us until we were back in the states. Then she said something a little more serious like "You know...I wish while we were there we wouldn't have complained as much as we did, I wish that we would have just looked at what was going on around us and took it in without hoping for anything more."
How true is that for everyday? We spend so much time hoping for the next thing. In Africa it was things like a shower, dreaming about what we would eat first when we got home, being excited to see our family and friends when we got home. I am not saying at all that in the moment I wasn't grateful for the experiences, because I really was, but I could have been more present in the moment. I think we all could be a little more present in the seasons we are currently in, in the moments that pass us by each day.
In church yesterday the pastor talked a little bit about how each day we spend a significant amount of time looking down on ourselves, or thinking that we're not getting what we deserve (there is a difference between humility and thinking poorly of ourselves). He talked about how these things can become idols, I had never really thought about it that way. When we complain about things and act as if we are entitled to something it kind of is like telling God that what He has for us isn't enough, like saying that we know better.
So this week I'm hoping to live with this new perspective. To be thankful and focused on who Christ is and all He's done. To not dwell on the things that aren't or on my desires but on what is.
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3
How true is that for everyday? We spend so much time hoping for the next thing. In Africa it was things like a shower, dreaming about what we would eat first when we got home, being excited to see our family and friends when we got home. I am not saying at all that in the moment I wasn't grateful for the experiences, because I really was, but I could have been more present in the moment. I think we all could be a little more present in the seasons we are currently in, in the moments that pass us by each day.
In church yesterday the pastor talked a little bit about how each day we spend a significant amount of time looking down on ourselves, or thinking that we're not getting what we deserve (there is a difference between humility and thinking poorly of ourselves). He talked about how these things can become idols, I had never really thought about it that way. When we complain about things and act as if we are entitled to something it kind of is like telling God that what He has for us isn't enough, like saying that we know better.
So this week I'm hoping to live with this new perspective. To be thankful and focused on who Christ is and all He's done. To not dwell on the things that aren't or on my desires but on what is.
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3
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