Today I have a day off, and not only is it a day off but it's a day when the entire apartment complex I live in has off and it is silent. I think I forgot what silence is like- and how much I really enjoy it. Don't get me wrong I love to be around people, but lately this has been my life: get up, rush around to get to school, teach all day, come home help make dinner and eat it, prepare for the next day or work on projects and go to bed- then repeat. It has been draining. I'm the kind of person who needs some alone time and have not been getting it as often as I like. I can honestly say yesterday afternoon was my first time of "alone" time in over a week- crazy.
Since I've been rushing around and trying to get as much done in a day as I can my time with God has been lacking. For awhile there I was only opening my bible for group bible study times or to look something up to send to someone or to talk with my roommates. I need my time with God, we all do, without it everything falls out of sync: our hearts, our minds, our attitudes. Lately I've been trying my hardest to get up without pushing the snooze button to make time to be with God- and those days have been magnificent. So today, in midst of all of my projects and assignments, and thinking about wedding plans I am going to focusing on taking the time to be still, to just be with God. This needs to happen much more often and I'm hoping that it will.
In other news: next week is the half-way point of student teaching and this week marks seven months until the wedding. This will be my third and last week teaching full-time in the math room after this week I'll move onto other subjects and even other grades- I'm pretty excited to see what all is in store! I know that I can only do all that needs to be done through His strength and I can only glorify Him if I'm making it about Him. My soul is hungry for His word, in the busyness and planning it isn't satisfied and it won't ever be.
"If we truly want to find Him, we must stay empty and hungry for God alone...we have many tasks, even responsibilities, which have come from Heaven. However, the greatest need of our soul is to be with Jesus." - Francis Frangipane
Showing posts with label distractions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label distractions. Show all posts
October 10, 2011
October 15, 2010
Humility
Hello :)
So the semester is trucking along (and by trucking I mean as busily and slowly as possible) but this morning while I was walking to class I was thinking, a few days short of a month from now the vast majority of my assignments will be turned in! How freeing is that? So right now I may feel so weighted down but in a little bit these checklists will be crossed off and it will be time for relaxing. I also got to thinking about things in the past that seemed like they would never get done but yet they all did, I made it through them and I know for sure I'll make it through this.
I guess I'll update a little on what's been going on. I'm two weeks into my part-time part of my placement, I'm in Kindergarten at a little rural school over the mountain andddd loving it. I really have been learning a lot and taking time to think about what I would do differently and how best to help these kids grasp the concepts. Last weekend on my drive home for fall break all I could think about were the students and how I could help them each individually, it actually fills my thoughts pretty often and has become a part of my prayer life- I'm enjoying it. Funny how I've only been with those little buddies a few days and I already feel like I know so much about them and want to see them succeed.
A few friends and I have started getting together on Wednesday nights to study the book of James and spend time in prayer with one another. So far it's been going great, we come and just share what God taught us through the passage (or in life in general) and ask each other questions to get us thinking deeper. They're such great girls!
This week we were studying James 4 and it really hit home for me. It starts off by talking about how all of our arguments and disputes stem from inside of us, that it is basically us throwing a tantrum because we're not getting our way. Earlier this week I was eating lunch with a friend and we started talking about tantrums and how no matter how old we get, we still "throw a fit" (either inwardly or outwardly) when our little lives aren't going the way that we want.
James goes on in verses 2 and 3 to say "you do not have, because you do not ask God," and that when we do ask, we ask "with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." We make it all about us.
Humility- it's not about me, so why the heck do I keep acting like it is. I want my little corner of the world to keep spinning at the exact speed, temperature, and direction that I want it to with no regard to God- it's sickening. It got me thinking about how much God taught me this summer about relying on Him solely and how far from that place I was in this summer I feel now that my work load has increased. My relationship with God should not depend on how busy I am, or anything else- those are distractions. In verse 4 it says:
"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
Woah- Anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. So often, God works on this area of my life, these past few months He's been revealing how much of a 'people pleaser' I am. I try so hard to make other people happy, to 'not step on anyone's toes' and throw so much of my emotions and heart into making sure that I'm doing what everyone else wants (regardless of whether they know it or not, and I read into things in order to try and see what they want). God's really been working on that portion of my heart and mind for awhile, and here it is again in the word.
When I read the verse at first I was kind of confused as to why they used the term 'adulterous', I started trying to figure it out by looking in the reference part of my bible and it sent me to Isaiah 54:5, which makes it so much clearer.
"For your maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is His name- the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."
We are His bride, and so when we turn to anything else to be fulfilled or give in to distractions from Him we are being adulterous.
Later in chapter 4 of James it says:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (verses 7-8)
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up." (verse 10)
It's all about humility, it's about laying down all that you cling to and surrendering it to God. It's about stepping of the thrones of control and worry in our hearts and minds and letting the King of the universe take over.
In greek the word humility translates to a word that means: "humbleness of mind, humility of mind, lowliness, lowliness of mind"
It's of the mind. Humility is about letting go of all that we let control our thoughts and letting His grace, mercy, and love wash over us, giving Him full authority in every aspect of our lives. He knows best and He is all that we need.
Our lives are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes..." (James 4:14) so what am I living for, my worries, struggles and plans are so brief in comparison to my life, in comparison to eternity they are nothing. "Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up."
So the semester is trucking along (and by trucking I mean as busily and slowly as possible) but this morning while I was walking to class I was thinking, a few days short of a month from now the vast majority of my assignments will be turned in! How freeing is that? So right now I may feel so weighted down but in a little bit these checklists will be crossed off and it will be time for relaxing. I also got to thinking about things in the past that seemed like they would never get done but yet they all did, I made it through them and I know for sure I'll make it through this.
I guess I'll update a little on what's been going on. I'm two weeks into my part-time part of my placement, I'm in Kindergarten at a little rural school over the mountain andddd loving it. I really have been learning a lot and taking time to think about what I would do differently and how best to help these kids grasp the concepts. Last weekend on my drive home for fall break all I could think about were the students and how I could help them each individually, it actually fills my thoughts pretty often and has become a part of my prayer life- I'm enjoying it. Funny how I've only been with those little buddies a few days and I already feel like I know so much about them and want to see them succeed.
A few friends and I have started getting together on Wednesday nights to study the book of James and spend time in prayer with one another. So far it's been going great, we come and just share what God taught us through the passage (or in life in general) and ask each other questions to get us thinking deeper. They're such great girls!
This week we were studying James 4 and it really hit home for me. It starts off by talking about how all of our arguments and disputes stem from inside of us, that it is basically us throwing a tantrum because we're not getting our way. Earlier this week I was eating lunch with a friend and we started talking about tantrums and how no matter how old we get, we still "throw a fit" (either inwardly or outwardly) when our little lives aren't going the way that we want.
James goes on in verses 2 and 3 to say "you do not have, because you do not ask God," and that when we do ask, we ask "with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." We make it all about us.
Humility- it's not about me, so why the heck do I keep acting like it is. I want my little corner of the world to keep spinning at the exact speed, temperature, and direction that I want it to with no regard to God- it's sickening. It got me thinking about how much God taught me this summer about relying on Him solely and how far from that place I was in this summer I feel now that my work load has increased. My relationship with God should not depend on how busy I am, or anything else- those are distractions. In verse 4 it says:
"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
Woah- Anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. So often, God works on this area of my life, these past few months He's been revealing how much of a 'people pleaser' I am. I try so hard to make other people happy, to 'not step on anyone's toes' and throw so much of my emotions and heart into making sure that I'm doing what everyone else wants (regardless of whether they know it or not, and I read into things in order to try and see what they want). God's really been working on that portion of my heart and mind for awhile, and here it is again in the word.
When I read the verse at first I was kind of confused as to why they used the term 'adulterous', I started trying to figure it out by looking in the reference part of my bible and it sent me to Isaiah 54:5, which makes it so much clearer.
"For your maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is His name- the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."
We are His bride, and so when we turn to anything else to be fulfilled or give in to distractions from Him we are being adulterous.
Later in chapter 4 of James it says:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (verses 7-8)
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up." (verse 10)
It's all about humility, it's about laying down all that you cling to and surrendering it to God. It's about stepping of the thrones of control and worry in our hearts and minds and letting the King of the universe take over.
In greek the word humility translates to a word that means: "humbleness of mind, humility of mind, lowliness, lowliness of mind"
It's of the mind. Humility is about letting go of all that we let control our thoughts and letting His grace, mercy, and love wash over us, giving Him full authority in every aspect of our lives. He knows best and He is all that we need.
Our lives are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes..." (James 4:14) so what am I living for, my worries, struggles and plans are so brief in comparison to my life, in comparison to eternity they are nothing. "Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up."
August 15, 2010
This life is not your own
Well, the summer is coming to an end, two weeks from tonight I'll be at my apartment soaking in the last few hours of summer. I've been back from Africa for as long I was IN Africa for and God has continued to teach me things from the experience.
Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)