Humility

Hello :)

So the semester is trucking along (and by trucking I mean as busily and slowly as possible) but this morning while I was walking to class I was thinking, a few days short of a month from now the vast majority of my assignments will be turned in! How freeing is that? So right now I may feel so weighted down but in a little bit these checklists will be crossed off and it will be time for relaxing. I also got to thinking about things in the past that seemed like they would never get done but yet they all did, I made it through them and I know for sure I'll make it through this.

I guess I'll update a little on what's been going on. I'm two weeks into my part-time part of my placement, I'm in Kindergarten at a little rural school over the mountain andddd loving it. I really have been learning a lot and taking time to think about what I would do differently and how best to help these kids grasp the concepts. Last weekend on my drive home for fall break all I could think about were the students and how I could help them each individually, it actually fills my thoughts pretty often and has become a part of my prayer life- I'm enjoying it. Funny how I've only been with those little buddies a few days and I already feel like I know so much about them and want to see them succeed.

A few friends and I have started getting together on Wednesday nights to study the book of James and spend time in prayer with one another. So far it's been going great, we come and just share what God taught us through the passage (or in life in general) and ask each other questions to get us thinking deeper. They're such great girls!

This week we were studying James 4 and it really hit home for me. It starts off by talking about how all of our arguments and disputes stem from inside of us, that it is basically us throwing a tantrum because we're not getting our way. Earlier this week I was eating lunch with a friend and we started talking about tantrums and how no matter how old we get, we still "throw a fit" (either inwardly or outwardly) when our little lives aren't going the way that we want.

James goes on in verses 2 and 3 to say "you do not have, because you do not ask God," and that when we do ask, we ask "with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." We make it all about us.

Humility- it's not about me, so why the heck do I keep acting like it is. I want my little corner of the world to keep spinning at the exact speed, temperature, and direction that I want it to with no regard to God- it's sickening. It got me thinking about how much God taught me this summer about relying on Him solely and how far from that place I was in this summer I feel now that my work load has increased. My relationship with God should not depend on how busy I am, or anything else- those are distractions. In verse 4 it says:

"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."

Woah- Anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. So often, God works on this area of my life, these past few months He's been revealing how much of a 'people pleaser' I am. I try so hard to make other people happy, to 'not step on anyone's toes' and throw so much of my emotions and heart into making sure that I'm doing what everyone else wants (regardless of whether they know it or not, and I read into things in order to try and see what they want). God's really been working on that portion of my heart and mind for awhile, and here it is again in the word.

When I read the verse at first I was kind of confused as to why they used the term 'adulterous', I started trying to figure it out by looking in the reference part of my bible and it sent me to Isaiah 54:5, which makes it so much clearer.

"For your maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is His name- the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."

We are His bride, and so when we turn to anything else to be fulfilled or give in to distractions from Him we are being adulterous.

Later in chapter 4 of James it says:

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (verses 7-8)

"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up." (verse 10)

It's all about humility, it's about laying down all that you cling to and surrendering it to God. It's about stepping of the thrones of control and worry in our hearts and minds and letting the King of the universe take over.

In greek the word humility translates to a word that means: "humbleness of mind, humility of mind, lowliness, lowliness of mind"

It's of the mind. Humility is about letting go of all that we let control our thoughts and letting His grace, mercy, and love wash over us, giving Him full authority in every aspect of our lives. He knows best and He is all that we need.

Our lives are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes..." (James 4:14) so what am I living for, my worries, struggles and plans are so brief in comparison to my life, in comparison to eternity they are nothing. "Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up."