So awhile ago I started following a blog called Kisses from Katie. On the blog, Katie a girl so close in age to me, shares her heart for God and how he is using her in Uganda. Her life is so powerful and encouraging. She is has written a book sharing about what God has been doing in her and through her in Uganda that will release in the fall that I can't wait to read. Today I found a video of her speaking a few years ago about her ministry and thought I would share it!
If only we all would cling to Christ with such reckless abandon, if only we would let go of living for ourselves and live for Him with all that we have- how awesome would it be? How clearly would Christ's light shine through us in this world?! Katie is such a clear picture of what it looks like to put Christ and God's will first in your life, to let go of our own plans and seek Him and His perfect plan.
Showing posts with label Africa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Africa. Show all posts
August 2, 2011
June 29, 2011
My heart's halfway around the world...
Since the past few weeks my heart has been in Togo, I thought I'd re-share one of my journal entries that I shared on here just a few months after I returned to the states. It was written on July 3 of last year. See it here.
June 6, 2011
One year since Togo...
Today it has been exactly one year since I got on the plane to Florida and met my team for Togo. It's amazing how quickly a year goes! I feel like it was just a few weeks ago that I was having all of those feelings and fears- anxiety about going so far away, not knowing much about where I was going or what I was doing, fear about not being able to communicate with my loved ones at home, and being so unsure of what God had in store for us as a team. It's so incredible to look back and think of all God did on that trip, and after, and how unified our team became.
I'm kind of sad today, and missing my team because it has been a year- but I'm excited at the same time because at this moment there is a new team being trained to head to Togo (and some of my teammates are there to welcome and share with them!) I'll definitely be praying for them as they head off to partner with the work that is going on in Togo.
During the next few weeks, I've decided that each day I'm going to ready over my journal and the letters that I wrote- not only to remember how it was, to remember all of the feelings but to look at that chunk of time in my life that was so significant to my growth and maybe see how God moved in ways that I haven't noticed before.
I wish today that I could be in Florida preparing to go see some of these people again and continue where we left off last summer, but that's not where God has me this summer. For now the most I can do is pray for the names and faces of the people I met and share their stories.
A piece of my heart remains in Togo, but I also need to remember that the story God has for me here in the states is just as important to His story. Even though the ministry looks vastly different and our lives here are full of distractions, His story continues.
I'm kind of sad today, and missing my team because it has been a year- but I'm excited at the same time because at this moment there is a new team being trained to head to Togo (and some of my teammates are there to welcome and share with them!) I'll definitely be praying for them as they head off to partner with the work that is going on in Togo.
During the next few weeks, I've decided that each day I'm going to ready over my journal and the letters that I wrote- not only to remember how it was, to remember all of the feelings but to look at that chunk of time in my life that was so significant to my growth and maybe see how God moved in ways that I haven't noticed before.
I wish today that I could be in Florida preparing to go see some of these people again and continue where we left off last summer, but that's not where God has me this summer. For now the most I can do is pray for the names and faces of the people I met and share their stories.
A piece of my heart remains in Togo, but I also need to remember that the story God has for me here in the states is just as important to His story. Even though the ministry looks vastly different and our lives here are full of distractions, His story continues.
"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints." - Ephesians 1:18
April 11, 2011
Warm Weather & Reminders
Today was beautiful. After a weekend of cold and rain today was beyond amazing. When I got home from Pre-K I decided to head to a park in town to read and journal (one of my favorite things to do on a beautiful day)! While there I got a call from one of my teammates from this past summer that I've been trying to get in contact with for a few weeks. It really made me miss the team, and reminded me of so much that happened this summer. It reminded me also that for as close as our team is, and for how rarely we talk now- we experienced something so unique this summer. We are a family, spread apart by many miles, each of us living very different lives but- we are unified in Christ. Whenever a phone call is made conversation picks up where it left off. I miss them very much tonight. We laughed on the phone reminiscing of the funny things that happened, and talked about some of the things that went unknown to us until we were back in the states. Then she said something a little more serious like "You know...I wish while we were there we wouldn't have complained as much as we did, I wish that we would have just looked at what was going on around us and took it in without hoping for anything more."
How true is that for everyday? We spend so much time hoping for the next thing. In Africa it was things like a shower, dreaming about what we would eat first when we got home, being excited to see our family and friends when we got home. I am not saying at all that in the moment I wasn't grateful for the experiences, because I really was, but I could have been more present in the moment. I think we all could be a little more present in the seasons we are currently in, in the moments that pass us by each day.
In church yesterday the pastor talked a little bit about how each day we spend a significant amount of time looking down on ourselves, or thinking that we're not getting what we deserve (there is a difference between humility and thinking poorly of ourselves). He talked about how these things can become idols, I had never really thought about it that way. When we complain about things and act as if we are entitled to something it kind of is like telling God that what He has for us isn't enough, like saying that we know better.
So this week I'm hoping to live with this new perspective. To be thankful and focused on who Christ is and all He's done. To not dwell on the things that aren't or on my desires but on what is.
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3
How true is that for everyday? We spend so much time hoping for the next thing. In Africa it was things like a shower, dreaming about what we would eat first when we got home, being excited to see our family and friends when we got home. I am not saying at all that in the moment I wasn't grateful for the experiences, because I really was, but I could have been more present in the moment. I think we all could be a little more present in the seasons we are currently in, in the moments that pass us by each day.
In church yesterday the pastor talked a little bit about how each day we spend a significant amount of time looking down on ourselves, or thinking that we're not getting what we deserve (there is a difference between humility and thinking poorly of ourselves). He talked about how these things can become idols, I had never really thought about it that way. When we complain about things and act as if we are entitled to something it kind of is like telling God that what He has for us isn't enough, like saying that we know better.
So this week I'm hoping to live with this new perspective. To be thankful and focused on who Christ is and all He's done. To not dwell on the things that aren't or on my desires but on what is.
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3
January 4, 2011
Joy, Togo, and 2011
Last night I couldn't sleep. Have you ever had one of those nights where no matter how hard you try or how tired you are your mind just wants to keep going. Last night every time I closed my eyes my mind would fill with the people of Togo that I met this summer and the various experiences that I had throughout the summer. I realize that I've been suppressing this for some time. At the end of this semester I was asked by someone if I was going on another 'trip' this summer- this made me pretty angry. Last summer wasn't just a 'trip', it wasn't just about me either: God revealed so much to me about Himself and His creation and I was able to meet and see some of the hard injustices of this world yet see how good God is in it all. Last night as my mind was replaying the stories and memories of this summer what struck me was the joy that never seemed to leave the faces of the Togolese believers. No matter the situation I remember them laughing and smiling in their carefree way and I know it was because their assurance was in Christ. No matter how little they had or how hard things were, it really didn't matter because they had Christ and that's the greatest possession anyone could ever have.
Togo has a population of 6,752,000 with 56 different people groups. There are 54 languages and only 13 complete bible translations into these languages. Many people groups profess to be Christians but still practice witchcraft and live in daily fear, which means that they must not fully understand the hope in Christ. It struck me last night how much I have been failing at sharing all that I saw and what God is doing in the country of Togo. He is moving. The believers there need prayer, their lives are vastly different from our comfortable cushy lives here in the U.S. but they are our brothers and sisters in Christ. I don't know if I'll ever return to see my friends in Togo and join them again in sharing the gospel of Christ's hope throughout their country, but I still am on a mission with them. I can continue to pray for them, to support and encourage them in their continual battle. My missions trip this summer may have physically ended, but in my heart it will continue throughout the rest of my life. Who knows if God will ever call me to leave the United States again for His mission, but my life will be lived as His mission because my life is not mine to live it's His to use and glorify Himself through.
There is so much hope in the gospel, and so many people in this world who have yet to hear it. Christ is the greatest message we could ever share- so why don't we share it in abundance? I'm completely guilty of doing this, keeping what I believe to myself and rarely talking about the joy only Christ can give outside of my believing friends, but this year I hope to dig deep into God's word and proclaim His glory through all I do and say, not matter who I'm with. Recklessly abandoning my fears, my reputation, and turning away from my selfish heart.
The United States of America has a population of 313,630,000 people. There are 364 people groups and 71 unreached people groups. That hurts my heart so much when I read that, in churches we always talk about international missions, but what are we doing every day, what about the people in our classes and the people we pass everyday? As wonderful as overseas missions is, God is still moving here and we are called to be living for Him and sharing Him where ever we are. Whether He calls us to live in a far away unknown land, or in a development in the suburbs of Philadelphia we are His servants and we are entrusted with the message of His gospel and our mission shouldn't change.
1 Corinthians 4:1-2
"So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful."
Am I proving faithful to the hope I have been entrusted to share? And am I putting aside my earthly desires and selfishness to live for Christ? Am I living recklessly abandoned to God's will? I guess that's my resolution for 2011
Togo has a population of 6,752,000 with 56 different people groups. There are 54 languages and only 13 complete bible translations into these languages. Many people groups profess to be Christians but still practice witchcraft and live in daily fear, which means that they must not fully understand the hope in Christ. It struck me last night how much I have been failing at sharing all that I saw and what God is doing in the country of Togo. He is moving. The believers there need prayer, their lives are vastly different from our comfortable cushy lives here in the U.S. but they are our brothers and sisters in Christ. I don't know if I'll ever return to see my friends in Togo and join them again in sharing the gospel of Christ's hope throughout their country, but I still am on a mission with them. I can continue to pray for them, to support and encourage them in their continual battle. My missions trip this summer may have physically ended, but in my heart it will continue throughout the rest of my life. Who knows if God will ever call me to leave the United States again for His mission, but my life will be lived as His mission because my life is not mine to live it's His to use and glorify Himself through.
There is so much hope in the gospel, and so many people in this world who have yet to hear it. Christ is the greatest message we could ever share- so why don't we share it in abundance? I'm completely guilty of doing this, keeping what I believe to myself and rarely talking about the joy only Christ can give outside of my believing friends, but this year I hope to dig deep into God's word and proclaim His glory through all I do and say, not matter who I'm with. Recklessly abandoning my fears, my reputation, and turning away from my selfish heart.
The United States of America has a population of 313,630,000 people. There are 364 people groups and 71 unreached people groups. That hurts my heart so much when I read that, in churches we always talk about international missions, but what are we doing every day, what about the people in our classes and the people we pass everyday? As wonderful as overseas missions is, God is still moving here and we are called to be living for Him and sharing Him where ever we are. Whether He calls us to live in a far away unknown land, or in a development in the suburbs of Philadelphia we are His servants and we are entrusted with the message of His gospel and our mission shouldn't change.
1 Corinthians 4:1-2
"So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful."
Am I proving faithful to the hope I have been entrusted to share? And am I putting aside my earthly desires and selfishness to live for Christ? Am I living recklessly abandoned to God's will? I guess that's my resolution for 2011
September 9, 2010
Looking Back and Moving Forward
So it's nearing the end of my second week of school. I'm all settled into my room and getting used to being back.I'm working at remembering and living out the lessons God taught me this summer by trying to let go and surrender each day to Christ.
Today I have for the most part free, so I decided to sit down and read through my journal from Togo (or at least some of it, it's pretty long!) I found an entry from the third week where I listed all of the lessons I had learned so far on the journey, this is it :)
"Lessons learned from Togo
Though I've only been here for a few short weeks I've already learned so much that I don't want to ever forget.
I've learned how blessed I truly am, I grew up in a place where material things are taken for granted, and so easily I'm blinded and forget how much I'm blessed each day. I've seen how truly lucky I am.
I've seen how faithful God is and learned the power of prayer. I've learned the importance of abiding in God ALONE.
I've seen how much control and how many distractions Satan uses to draw me away from God. I've learned that if I just spend the time I set apart for God for HIS glory, and really dig deep, how much He has to reveal to me. I've learned that abiding and trusting God with everything means fully surrendering without fear or doubt.
I've learned how little I know and how much I need to learn.
I've seen firsthand how God can use anything He wants, even the color of my skin to reveal His glory. I've realized how often I limit God's power in my mind and I know that He is capable of much more than i can imagine and does things in HIS timing HIS way. I've learned how sweet and good His timing and and His way really are.
I've seen poverty and lifestyles I hardly believed existed or had only read about it books or seen on t.v. I've seen how much joy that believers living in those hard situations have and how they realize that this life isn't about them or their wants or needs, but God is good despite the circumstances and His joy lasts.
I've seen how much sin reigns over peoples lives and how much we are in need of a Savior. I've learned how strong Satan is, but how much STRONGER God is. I've learned that PERFECT LOVE casts out ALL fear.
I've learned that when you turn all your worries and anxieties over to Christ FULLY and lay them at the cross He will supply all you need and FILL you with a peace and joy beyond any we have tried to build for ourselves or find here on this earth. And indescribable peace and joy that can only come from Christ.
I've learned that God is Sovereign and His ways and His purposes are higher than any of mine could ever be (by far.)
I've learned that even though at times I may feel worthless, useless or incomplete ONLY HE can fill me and satisfy all of my desires. God knows what I need. He is all I need.
I've seen the beauty of God's creation through His people, His scenery, in children's laughs and in the night sky. I've grown deeper in relationship with my Father in heaven and realize how far I have to go. It's come to my attention how frequently I've put my relationship with Christ on the sidelines of my life and how much I desire for Him to be my first priority in ALL areas of my life.
I've seen how powerful the gospel is and how through its simplicity and freedom people can be transformed. God is molding each of His children, God is transforming me, into His image.
I've realized that the bible is FULL of truth. Every single piece, every word, every promise. The creator of the WHOLE world loves me, takes care of me, provides all I need and I take it so lightly. I have no reason to be afraid or worried: the God who made the stars, the universe and everything in it is in control of my life.
I've learned more about God's gift of the Holy Spirt and how much His gift of grace and freedom from sin really is worth.
I've learned that although overseas missions isn't something I feel called to right now, His ministry is something that we as believers are called to each day, wherever we are in whatever we are doing. All we do should be done for His glory alone.
I've learned that although I often get nervous or afraid, unless I step out in faith and do what I'm afraid of and let go of my fears, those fears will never subside. Perfect love, only Christ's love, casts out fear.
I've seen how easy most American's have it materialistically and how entitled we think we are to having that ease. I've learned how worthless everything on this Earth is in comparison to Christ. I've learned to appreciate what I've been given more.
I've learned that each moment is its own and should be treated for what it is: a fleeting gift.
I've been reminded that my life is not my own, that the only purpose worth living for is God's.
I've seen, played with, and held some of the 'unloved' and 'unwanted' of this world and learned how much God's love alone is all that can satisfy. He is all they need, and He is all I need. As believers we are all called children of God.
I've learned that when you 'lose your life' for Christ that is when you find it.
I am hidden with Christ in God and He is all I need. All else can fade away, all I need is Jesus.
I've seen how much I struggle with pride, selfishness, patience, compassion, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness (just to name a few) and know that only with the help of the Holy Spirit can any of that change.
I've been reminded of how unworthy I am of God's gift and how much I don't deserve His love and grace and how my life should be lived as a life of praise and thankfulness to the King.
I have been entrusted (1 Timothy 1:14) with the gift of the gospel, I am an heir to His inheritance and have access to the kingdom. I need to live a life worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27) and of the calling. I need to pour the fragrance of Christ wherever I am, during whatever I'm doing (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).
I want to daily live in His presence, soaking in as much of Him as I can and let it overflow to the world around me. I want Jesus to be the center and the source of my life."
"There is nothing good, nothing holy, nothing beautiful, nothing joyous which He is not to His servants. No one need to be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need to be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to and of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all he has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more." - A.W. Tozer
Today I have for the most part free, so I decided to sit down and read through my journal from Togo (or at least some of it, it's pretty long!) I found an entry from the third week where I listed all of the lessons I had learned so far on the journey, this is it :)
"Lessons learned from Togo
Though I've only been here for a few short weeks I've already learned so much that I don't want to ever forget.
I've learned how blessed I truly am, I grew up in a place where material things are taken for granted, and so easily I'm blinded and forget how much I'm blessed each day. I've seen how truly lucky I am.
I've seen how faithful God is and learned the power of prayer. I've learned the importance of abiding in God ALONE.
I've seen how much control and how many distractions Satan uses to draw me away from God. I've learned that if I just spend the time I set apart for God for HIS glory, and really dig deep, how much He has to reveal to me. I've learned that abiding and trusting God with everything means fully surrendering without fear or doubt.
I've learned how little I know and how much I need to learn.
I've seen firsthand how God can use anything He wants, even the color of my skin to reveal His glory. I've realized how often I limit God's power in my mind and I know that He is capable of much more than i can imagine and does things in HIS timing HIS way. I've learned how sweet and good His timing and and His way really are.
I've seen poverty and lifestyles I hardly believed existed or had only read about it books or seen on t.v. I've seen how much joy that believers living in those hard situations have and how they realize that this life isn't about them or their wants or needs, but God is good despite the circumstances and His joy lasts.
I've seen how much sin reigns over peoples lives and how much we are in need of a Savior. I've learned how strong Satan is, but how much STRONGER God is. I've learned that PERFECT LOVE casts out ALL fear.
I've learned that when you turn all your worries and anxieties over to Christ FULLY and lay them at the cross He will supply all you need and FILL you with a peace and joy beyond any we have tried to build for ourselves or find here on this earth. And indescribable peace and joy that can only come from Christ.
I've learned that God is Sovereign and His ways and His purposes are higher than any of mine could ever be (by far.)
I've learned that even though at times I may feel worthless, useless or incomplete ONLY HE can fill me and satisfy all of my desires. God knows what I need. He is all I need.
I've seen the beauty of God's creation through His people, His scenery, in children's laughs and in the night sky. I've grown deeper in relationship with my Father in heaven and realize how far I have to go. It's come to my attention how frequently I've put my relationship with Christ on the sidelines of my life and how much I desire for Him to be my first priority in ALL areas of my life.
I've seen how powerful the gospel is and how through its simplicity and freedom people can be transformed. God is molding each of His children, God is transforming me, into His image.
I've realized that the bible is FULL of truth. Every single piece, every word, every promise. The creator of the WHOLE world loves me, takes care of me, provides all I need and I take it so lightly. I have no reason to be afraid or worried: the God who made the stars, the universe and everything in it is in control of my life.
I've learned more about God's gift of the Holy Spirt and how much His gift of grace and freedom from sin really is worth.
I've learned that although overseas missions isn't something I feel called to right now, His ministry is something that we as believers are called to each day, wherever we are in whatever we are doing. All we do should be done for His glory alone.
I've learned that although I often get nervous or afraid, unless I step out in faith and do what I'm afraid of and let go of my fears, those fears will never subside. Perfect love, only Christ's love, casts out fear.
I've seen how easy most American's have it materialistically and how entitled we think we are to having that ease. I've learned how worthless everything on this Earth is in comparison to Christ. I've learned to appreciate what I've been given more.
I've learned that each moment is its own and should be treated for what it is: a fleeting gift.
I've been reminded that my life is not my own, that the only purpose worth living for is God's.
I've seen, played with, and held some of the 'unloved' and 'unwanted' of this world and learned how much God's love alone is all that can satisfy. He is all they need, and He is all I need. As believers we are all called children of God.
I've learned that when you 'lose your life' for Christ that is when you find it.
I am hidden with Christ in God and He is all I need. All else can fade away, all I need is Jesus.
I've seen how much I struggle with pride, selfishness, patience, compassion, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness (just to name a few) and know that only with the help of the Holy Spirit can any of that change.
I've been reminded of how unworthy I am of God's gift and how much I don't deserve His love and grace and how my life should be lived as a life of praise and thankfulness to the King.
I have been entrusted (1 Timothy 1:14) with the gift of the gospel, I am an heir to His inheritance and have access to the kingdom. I need to live a life worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27) and of the calling. I need to pour the fragrance of Christ wherever I am, during whatever I'm doing (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).
I want to daily live in His presence, soaking in as much of Him as I can and let it overflow to the world around me. I want Jesus to be the center and the source of my life."
"There is nothing good, nothing holy, nothing beautiful, nothing joyous which He is not to His servants. No one need to be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need to be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to and of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all he has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more." - A.W. Tozer
August 15, 2010
This life is not your own
Well, the summer is coming to an end, two weeks from tonight I'll be at my apartment soaking in the last few hours of summer. I've been back from Africa for as long I was IN Africa for and God has continued to teach me things from the experience.
Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
July 31, 2010
God's Fireworks
This is a journal entry from my trip in Africa that I thought I would share on here :)
July 4, 2010
"I'm pretty sure that homesickness was at an all time high for the team today. The end is drawing near and we know that it won’t be long until we’ll be close to the comforts of home. I think a lot of the home-missing today and to do with it being the 4th of July and people missing their traditions of the holiday at home and knowing that even though we’re on a different continent those traditions of fireworks and cookouts are still continuing.
Around dinnertime a huge thunderstorm started- all thunder and lightning- no rain. The lightning flashed as bright as beams of sun stretched across the dark night sky. After finishing up eating we debated on whether or not we should go out into the opening in front of our building to watch the whole thing. As we debated the power shut off (as it had about a million other times that day and every other day) and the lightning lit up the sky three times. We decided that we probably should go out and watch since it was pitch black and seeing to be able to do anything else was nearly impossible.
We went out on the porch and “ooooed” and “ahhed” at each strike (mostly just the girls because the boys were sick and had left halfway through dinner to go lay down.) After a little while the girls all grabbed hands and ventured out in the pitch black open area to stare up at the sky. We stood in a circle, holding hands, and sang as many patriotic songs as we could come up with at the top of our lungs- loud and off key. When we ran out of songs we just stood under the vast sky and admired the beauty of what was going on around us.
The sky was probably the MOST gorgeously, amazingly, beautiful thing I have EVER seen. There were few clouds and the stars were SO clear, the lightning struck around the stars as if dancing with joy. It. Was. Beautiful. Words cannot describe the beauty of the display God made. I stood there and tried to soak in as much of it to my memory as I could.
After some time one of the girls suggested that we pray to thank God for this beauty and pray for our country and families back home. We huddled together in a “grug” (our name for group hug) and began to pray. As the prayers ended, we said ‘amen’ and the huddle dismantled the power came back on. God’s fireworks display was over.
God showed us a small piece of His magnificence, beauty, and love through the lightning among the stars. We were homesick and missing the traditions of the home holiday, yet an ocean away God gave us the most spectacular light show we’ve ever seen. Even though it wasn’t the show we’re used to it was more glorious than any man-made display could ever be. It’s a few moments in time that I never want to forget. The time God made lightning flash among the stars."
July 4, 2010
"I'm pretty sure that homesickness was at an all time high for the team today. The end is drawing near and we know that it won’t be long until we’ll be close to the comforts of home. I think a lot of the home-missing today and to do with it being the 4th of July and people missing their traditions of the holiday at home and knowing that even though we’re on a different continent those traditions of fireworks and cookouts are still continuing.
Around dinnertime a huge thunderstorm started- all thunder and lightning- no rain. The lightning flashed as bright as beams of sun stretched across the dark night sky. After finishing up eating we debated on whether or not we should go out into the opening in front of our building to watch the whole thing. As we debated the power shut off (as it had about a million other times that day and every other day) and the lightning lit up the sky three times. We decided that we probably should go out and watch since it was pitch black and seeing to be able to do anything else was nearly impossible.
We went out on the porch and “ooooed” and “ahhed” at each strike (mostly just the girls because the boys were sick and had left halfway through dinner to go lay down.) After a little while the girls all grabbed hands and ventured out in the pitch black open area to stare up at the sky. We stood in a circle, holding hands, and sang as many patriotic songs as we could come up with at the top of our lungs- loud and off key. When we ran out of songs we just stood under the vast sky and admired the beauty of what was going on around us.
The sky was probably the MOST gorgeously, amazingly, beautiful thing I have EVER seen. There were few clouds and the stars were SO clear, the lightning struck around the stars as if dancing with joy. It. Was. Beautiful. Words cannot describe the beauty of the display God made. I stood there and tried to soak in as much of it to my memory as I could.
After some time one of the girls suggested that we pray to thank God for this beauty and pray for our country and families back home. We huddled together in a “grug” (our name for group hug) and began to pray. As the prayers ended, we said ‘amen’ and the huddle dismantled the power came back on. God’s fireworks display was over.
God showed us a small piece of His magnificence, beauty, and love through the lightning among the stars. We were homesick and missing the traditions of the home holiday, yet an ocean away God gave us the most spectacular light show we’ve ever seen. Even though it wasn’t the show we’re used to it was more glorious than any man-made display could ever be. It’s a few moments in time that I never want to forget. The time God made lightning flash among the stars."
July 25, 2010
Change in the Making
So I realize that it's been f-o-r-e-v-e-r since I've written on this, I kind of just made it, wrote in it and never returned to it. So much has happened in my heart and my mind since I wrote last, God's been doing big things in revealing Himself to me. I won’t be saying to much about Africa in this post but hopefully as time goes on I’ll write about it more. About a week ago I returned from most definitely the biggest adventure of my life as of yet. So much happened and I learned great leaps and bounds (God's still teaching me some lessons from the trip and I'm sure He will continue to do so for a LONG time.)
This past week I've had time to reflect back on the summer, my life and my relationship with God over the past few years. My time in Africa was a time with very limited communication outside of our team, and very few distractions I could easily sit for an hour or more journaling and praying and reading: spending time being still and communicating with God only. That time was so fruitful, and such a blessing. It was amazing to spend that much intimate time with God; I have never felt so close to Him as I feel now. This trip not only opened my eyes up to the world but to the largeness and sovereignty of God. I'm in awe of His greatness. He is so full of grace and so loving and I don't deserve ANY of it in ANY way- none of us do. He’s amazing. Something that has been on my mind a lot since I've gotten back is "okay God so you revealed so much of Yourself to me in Africa and revealed to me a lot about myself, how do I apply it here." If you've ever gone to a camp or on mission trip of any kind you know that when you get back you're on a "spiritual high" and typically in a few weeks that’s gone, once reality hits you go back to your normal way of living. I’ve spent a majority of this past week trying to go against the flow of the ‘normal’ I’ve tried to apply the changes and what I have learned the past six weeks to my ‘real life’ because let’s face it- if I don’t try to do it now it probably won’t happen. It’s been so freeing to just take time to BE with God and to take time to surrender what I’m doing to Him- He has filled me with and inexpressible and glorious joy that I never want to fade. I know that as I start working and head back to school in a few weeks that it will become harder to go against the norm but I really desire nothing more than to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ.
Right now I feel so full and so satisfied; my heart is so full of joy at times I feel like it could explode. I never want to fall of this ‘mountain top’ and back into the valley again I want to continue climbing- continuing to strive after God and living my life for Him. Christ is all I want to live for. These times I’ve spent alone with God I’ve seen how much my life and my mind revolve around MY wants, MY needs, and MY worries and how little I surrender myself to Him. Something that hit me kind of hard the first few weeks in Togo was the fact that in sharing the gospel with people I would often say that “Christ is the only thing that can fill you and satisfy you, He is ALL you need.” I spent a good amount of time thinking ‘if this is what I truly believe, do I live like that?’ the answer is no. That was a hard reality to meet, it was definitely a turning point. I know that Christ is the only thing that can fill me, and that He can transform an mold my life in MUCH greater ways that I could ever imagine or attempt to create for myself. I am blessed with so much: amazing friends, the ability to go to school, really every moment I am showered with countless blessings (we all are) but we don’t NEED any of it. The moment we start living as if we are the ones in control of our lives or that anything we have in our lives is more important than God, that’s the moment we stop trusting God. That hits hard too: how often do our thoughts and actions revolve around ourselves, how often do we surrender ourselves and our blessings to God and say “God it’s all yours- use it as you please” I know it’s been pretty rare in my life.
In Togo I started reading a book called “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer and it talks a little bit about this:
“We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety. This is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really save which is not so committed.”
I need to let go of everything I cling to, no matter how difficult it is and cling to Christ with EVERYTHING. When my life is committed to Him what could be better?
At the beginning of this week I wrote out a few questions to ask myself on a daily (well, continual) basis:
1. Who am I living for right at this moment, who am I glorifying: God or myself?
2. Have I surrendered this to God? Am I trusting Him with it- or trying to deal with it on my own?
My deepest desire is to grow deeper in relationship with God and live fully surrendered to Him. I really hope that as life starts to pick up that I’ll remember that this life is not about me, that I am blessed beyond imagination, and that the Creator of the universe loves me and hold my every moment in the palm of His hand. Christ is all that I need, all that any of us need.
This past week I've had time to reflect back on the summer, my life and my relationship with God over the past few years. My time in Africa was a time with very limited communication outside of our team, and very few distractions I could easily sit for an hour or more journaling and praying and reading: spending time being still and communicating with God only. That time was so fruitful, and such a blessing. It was amazing to spend that much intimate time with God; I have never felt so close to Him as I feel now. This trip not only opened my eyes up to the world but to the largeness and sovereignty of God. I'm in awe of His greatness. He is so full of grace and so loving and I don't deserve ANY of it in ANY way- none of us do. He’s amazing. Something that has been on my mind a lot since I've gotten back is "okay God so you revealed so much of Yourself to me in Africa and revealed to me a lot about myself, how do I apply it here." If you've ever gone to a camp or on mission trip of any kind you know that when you get back you're on a "spiritual high" and typically in a few weeks that’s gone, once reality hits you go back to your normal way of living. I’ve spent a majority of this past week trying to go against the flow of the ‘normal’ I’ve tried to apply the changes and what I have learned the past six weeks to my ‘real life’ because let’s face it- if I don’t try to do it now it probably won’t happen. It’s been so freeing to just take time to BE with God and to take time to surrender what I’m doing to Him- He has filled me with and inexpressible and glorious joy that I never want to fade. I know that as I start working and head back to school in a few weeks that it will become harder to go against the norm but I really desire nothing more than to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ.
Right now I feel so full and so satisfied; my heart is so full of joy at times I feel like it could explode. I never want to fall of this ‘mountain top’ and back into the valley again I want to continue climbing- continuing to strive after God and living my life for Him. Christ is all I want to live for. These times I’ve spent alone with God I’ve seen how much my life and my mind revolve around MY wants, MY needs, and MY worries and how little I surrender myself to Him. Something that hit me kind of hard the first few weeks in Togo was the fact that in sharing the gospel with people I would often say that “Christ is the only thing that can fill you and satisfy you, He is ALL you need.” I spent a good amount of time thinking ‘if this is what I truly believe, do I live like that?’ the answer is no. That was a hard reality to meet, it was definitely a turning point. I know that Christ is the only thing that can fill me, and that He can transform an mold my life in MUCH greater ways that I could ever imagine or attempt to create for myself. I am blessed with so much: amazing friends, the ability to go to school, really every moment I am showered with countless blessings (we all are) but we don’t NEED any of it. The moment we start living as if we are the ones in control of our lives or that anything we have in our lives is more important than God, that’s the moment we stop trusting God. That hits hard too: how often do our thoughts and actions revolve around ourselves, how often do we surrender ourselves and our blessings to God and say “God it’s all yours- use it as you please” I know it’s been pretty rare in my life.
In Togo I started reading a book called “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer and it talks a little bit about this:
“We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety. This is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really save which is not so committed.”
I need to let go of everything I cling to, no matter how difficult it is and cling to Christ with EVERYTHING. When my life is committed to Him what could be better?
At the beginning of this week I wrote out a few questions to ask myself on a daily (well, continual) basis:
1. Who am I living for right at this moment, who am I glorifying: God or myself?
2. Have I surrendered this to God? Am I trusting Him with it- or trying to deal with it on my own?
My deepest desire is to grow deeper in relationship with God and live fully surrendered to Him. I really hope that as life starts to pick up that I’ll remember that this life is not about me, that I am blessed beyond imagination, and that the Creator of the universe loves me and hold my every moment in the palm of His hand. Christ is all that I need, all that any of us need.
May 19, 2010
Identity and Reliance
Well, it's summertime! I feel like the weeks leading up to summer are so full of anticipation for free time to relax and now that summer's actually here I'm ready to actually be back at school haha. If anything these past two weeks have been a great time of relaxing and reflecting on this year. This year was probably one of the most stressful years, not really academically but spiritually, and emotionally. Looking back I see how God was using each event to mold me. When I look back on my journals and emails with friends from the semester I notice some funny themes, I started the year of questioning what it means to have identity in Christ and what Christ calls me, and asking God to teach me to fully rely on Him. Well for part of the semester I went through the book of Ephesians and wrote down everything that God calls us and everything He says about Himself. After finishing the study I felt like I knew a little bit more of who God calls me to be and how I am viewed by Christ and moved on to a different study. Well at the end of the semester I found the topic of identity coming up again, in almost every sermon, many conversations and through what I was reading in scripture funny huh? This time the focus revolved around the passage in John 15 about the vine and the branches.
'"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned." John 15:1-6
Verse 5 stands out to me the most... apart from Christ we can do NOTHING. We need to be rooted in Him and in Him alone. Our reliance needs to me on Christ and TRUSTING that He knows what He is doing with our lives, we need Him and His guidance in order to bear fruit.
"Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1a
I need to surrender everything wholeheartedly to Him and be rooted in Him as my source, my builder, for everything I do, say, think, and where my attitude is rooted.
When our identity strays away from Christ, I think a lot of our sin sprouts. For example, if our identity is in a relationship our focus on God strays and we start to try to please that person whether it’s through actions or words. When God is our strength and our source, He truly is EVERYTHING we need. I often find myself praying for God to do certain things, with all of hope that He’ll do it MY way. God is all powerful and knows everything, so who am I to tell Him what to do, as if I know what’s best for me. “I am the vine and you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do NOTHING.” Without Christ in all we do our efforts are fruitless. If not for Him what are we working for?
I've been learning even more about reliance in preparing for Africa this summer. Going on this trip is such a leap of faith for me. I'm the type of person who likes to know 'the plan' and know what is coming up and be organized and ready. I also like to be in almost constant contact with those who are closest to me. I start to feel really insecure when I don't have control or when communication from those I love and am in a new environment. Don't get me wrong, I love camping and being able to just shut my phone off and be away from computers and technology for a few days, but I like to be the one to decide when it is okay for those things to come back in my life haha.
Well in just a few weeks I'll be surrendering my planning, my communication, and leaving everything and everyone that is familiar to me for six weeks. It's been amazing to see how God has been preparing me this year for this and how my finances and everything has been falling together. I can't begin to explain how freeing and cool it has been to just trust that the money will come in and to see how it HAS been coming in. God definitely has been working in my heart and mind to prepare me for what is coming. I don't know much about this trip, I know some of the possibilities and have talked with some of the people going through email a little bit and normally I feel like I would be freaking out in fear of the unknown, but God has given me this peace. Trusting He's got it all under control and knows what is best for me is all I can do right now. God is good!
"You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]." Isaiah 26:3-4 (amplified version)
'"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned." John 15:1-6
Verse 5 stands out to me the most... apart from Christ we can do NOTHING. We need to be rooted in Him and in Him alone. Our reliance needs to me on Christ and TRUSTING that He knows what He is doing with our lives, we need Him and His guidance in order to bear fruit.
"Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain." Psalm 127:1a
I need to surrender everything wholeheartedly to Him and be rooted in Him as my source, my builder, for everything I do, say, think, and where my attitude is rooted.
When our identity strays away from Christ, I think a lot of our sin sprouts. For example, if our identity is in a relationship our focus on God strays and we start to try to please that person whether it’s through actions or words. When God is our strength and our source, He truly is EVERYTHING we need. I often find myself praying for God to do certain things, with all of hope that He’ll do it MY way. God is all powerful and knows everything, so who am I to tell Him what to do, as if I know what’s best for me. “I am the vine and you are the branches, if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do NOTHING.” Without Christ in all we do our efforts are fruitless. If not for Him what are we working for?
I've been learning even more about reliance in preparing for Africa this summer. Going on this trip is such a leap of faith for me. I'm the type of person who likes to know 'the plan' and know what is coming up and be organized and ready. I also like to be in almost constant contact with those who are closest to me. I start to feel really insecure when I don't have control or when communication from those I love and am in a new environment. Don't get me wrong, I love camping and being able to just shut my phone off and be away from computers and technology for a few days, but I like to be the one to decide when it is okay for those things to come back in my life haha.
Well in just a few weeks I'll be surrendering my planning, my communication, and leaving everything and everyone that is familiar to me for six weeks. It's been amazing to see how God has been preparing me this year for this and how my finances and everything has been falling together. I can't begin to explain how freeing and cool it has been to just trust that the money will come in and to see how it HAS been coming in. God definitely has been working in my heart and mind to prepare me for what is coming. I don't know much about this trip, I know some of the possibilities and have talked with some of the people going through email a little bit and normally I feel like I would be freaking out in fear of the unknown, but God has given me this peace. Trusting He's got it all under control and knows what is best for me is all I can do right now. God is good!
"You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]." Isaiah 26:3-4 (amplified version)
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