Conqueror, Provider, Protector

Happy (belated) Easter! He's alive!

I spent the morning with my family eating jelly beans and chocolate eggs for breakfast. Then headed to church, and home for leisurely ham lunch before I headed out to Lancaster to spend a little bit of the day with Ethan's family, and have some more ham.



On my drive out to Lancaster and then the rest of the way to school between belting out songs along with whatever cd I had in at the time I thought about how many different qualities God has and how truly faithful He is and has been in my life.

Let me go back to the beginning of my weekend.

Friday night I hurried home after a short visit to Lancaster for lunch because I had an interview with a potential family for nannying this summer. I walked in the door when I got home to my mom yelling throughout the house "Dinner's ready, come sit down!" I dropped my bags in my room and headed to the table to realize it was one of my favorite home meals (Fried eggplant Parmesan with fresh tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil mmmm mmm mmmm!!)! They made it special for my weekend homecoming :)

After dinner I went to my interview. I have been looking for a second job to supplement working at camp this summer. I really wanted to spend this last summer home working at camp again, ministering to the kids and loving on kids in a way that at camp you only can. Without working during the school year and planning a wedding and things like moving out I was in need of a little bit more than what I would be making at camp alone- and after all I'm not really at camp for the money. I shyed away from working at a store because I knew it would be really difficult to get the hours in around my camp schedule; I called a few places for tutoring and things like that but the doors were shut immediately. A few months ago I had joined an online nannying service and I saw that a woman ten minutes from my house was looking for care for her baby that fit my camp schedule so perfectly, so I applied. The family was SO nice and the little girl SO adorable! andddd.... I got the job! God provides! That job just fit soooo perfectly that I know it was His hand leading that fully!

Saturday morning I got to spend almost the entire day with my friend, Kari, and at as always it was such a blessing just to talk and hang out together. Our hearts are so alike and she is the one friend who knows me better than I know myself, who will be completely honest, and I can do/say almost anything and she'll still accept me for who I am. She's the loving,genuine, godly friend that God has provided me with along this journey, who I don't know what I would do without.



That night her and I went to visit our other good friend Brittany. Late at night (around 9:30) the three of us decided, like typical college students, that we were going to go to get some Rita's water ice. Then came a pretty scary event: After Kari had ordered and Britt was ordering I was glancing around our surroundings and saw a man in a hoodie and mask walking briskly towards us! He came right next to me and said to the three of us "Get the __ out of here!" my friend yelled "Run girls!" we ran to my car, locked the doors, and I turned my car on. Scary stuff. We saw the man run off into a neighborhood behind the Rita's so I turned my car off, figuring the police would be there soon, and they were. The police asked us to stay around because the three of us were really the only ones who got a good look at him, and were the main witnesses since we were the only ones at Rita's. They asked us what happened and what he looked like over and over again to get a solid description and then asked us if we could get in a car with them to identify a suspect they had found nearby. It turned out that we didn't think that they man they found was the same guy, and I'm not sure what happened to him afterwards but what keeps hitting me is what could have happened. He could have had a weapon, so much could have happened, but it didn't and I'm so grateful. God is the ultimate protector and He was with us through that whole night, just like He is every day. I'm still a little shaken up about that night, but I know that I have the one who conquered sin and death and fear through the cross and resurrection living inside of me and I have no reason to be afraid in any situation.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:28-379

Frustration & Encouragement

So I know just yesterday I posted about taking time each moment to be thankful but today I'm finding it incredibly difficult. It was one of those days at preschool where it seemed that every time I asked a child to do something or asked them for help they gave me this smirk looked me in the eye and said "no" with great confidence that there was nothing I could do to convince them that getting off the top of the book shelf, shoving bottle lids in their mouths, or trying to free the classroom caterpillars into their toy cars for a spin around the classroom carpet is not a great idea. Four year olds can make you feel defeated (believe it or not), don't get me wrong I love kids but some days, like today, I just wish they would willingly listen. My friend Kari wrote the other week about how teaching has really made her think about how often our student's disobedience and lack of willingness often reflects our responses and attitude towards God (See here). I know today I just let these events frustrate me and overshadow all of the positives and became discouraged as a result. Tomorrow morning I will greet them each as they get off of the bus with hug and a smile, because it will be a new day and in order to show Christ's love to them I'll need to have an attitude and outlook more like His.

Last night I was reading through a book our pastor gave us on Sunday and came across this quote: "What could He do in you and through you if you believed he has already blessed you with every spiritual blessing, delivered you out of the kingdom of darkness, and taken you who were dead in sin and made you fully alive in Christ?" -Henry & Melvin Blackaby

Think about it, if only each day we realized and recognized how much He has done for us, especially on days like today, how much more could He use us and how much more would we see Him woven throughout our days?

I also came across this song that I wanted to share:


Also, I came across this today- another great reminder:

‎"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

Warm Weather & Reminders

Today was beautiful. After a weekend of cold and rain today was beyond amazing. When I got home from Pre-K I decided to head to a park in town to read and journal (one of my favorite things to do on a beautiful day)! While there I got a call from one of my teammates from this past summer that I've been trying to get in contact with for a few weeks. It really made me miss the team, and reminded me of so much that happened this summer. It reminded me also that for as close as our team is, and for how rarely we talk now- we experienced something so unique this summer. We are a family, spread apart by many miles, each of us living very different lives but- we are unified in Christ. Whenever a phone call is made conversation picks up where it left off. I miss them very much tonight. We laughed on the phone reminiscing of the funny things that happened, and talked about some of the things that went unknown to us until we were back in the states. Then she said something a little more serious like "You know...I wish while we were there we wouldn't have complained as much as we did, I wish that we would have just looked at what was going on around us and took it in without hoping for anything more."

How true is that for everyday? We spend so much time hoping for the next thing. In Africa it was things like a shower, dreaming about what we would eat first when we got home, being excited to see our family and friends when we got home. I am not saying at all that in the moment I wasn't grateful for the experiences, because I really was, but I could have been more present in the moment. I think we all could be a little more present in the seasons we are currently in, in the moments that pass us by each day.

In church yesterday the pastor talked a little bit about how each day we spend a significant amount of time looking down on ourselves, or thinking that we're not getting what we deserve (there is a difference between humility and thinking poorly of ourselves). He talked about how these things can become idols, I had never really thought about it that way. When we complain about things and act as if we are entitled to something it kind of is like telling God that what He has for us isn't enough, like saying that we know better.

So this week I'm hoping to live with this new perspective. To be thankful and focused on who Christ is and all He's done. To not dwell on the things that aren't or on my desires but on what is.

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3

Education & God's Sovereignty

So the past few weeks have been chaotic to say the least in the world of Pennsylvania education. The governor has proposed a budget that, if passed, will lower the amount of funding public schools are getting immensely. This means that schools are being forced to get rid of things like kindergarten, art & music programs, sports, and that they're laying off teachers. This also means for the kids in those schools that if there are fewer teachers their classes sizes will grow and their ability to receive the help they need will grow slim.

My education professors over the past four years have always said that if we can get out of the state to teach we should do it because Pennsylvania has an odd problem- we have more certified teachers than there are jobs, where all of the states surrounding us have the opposite problem. This is true now more than ever.

Last night as a class requirement I had to go to an on campus rally against the budget. My professor was speaking and told us that if half the class agreed to go she would cancel two classes and a quiz (when you through around incentives like cancelling class and tests things usually go your way). So I went, along with the rest of my class. It was by far the most political/hippie-esque thing I have ever been to. There was chanting, singing, and waving of signs. To be honest I was completely freaked out and out of my element by being there. Don't get me wrong- I'm all for education and wanting children to succeed but I don't think yelling and making mean phone calls to state representatives is at all the way about it. What struck me about the rally was that every story anyone shared was about them, how they could get further ahead if this budget doesn't pass, how they could make more money in the future with their college degrees and how the people who want to pass this budget are the enemy. They continuously referred to the political leaders of our state as the enemy.
The enemy? Now that's taking it a little too far. Being someone who knows very little about politics and very little about what's going on in the news and I'll be honest, I don't really know full extent of what is going on.

I do know that God is in control and that He knew that this was going to happen centuries before today. I know that things may seem bad, but that my God is mighty. I know that for how much people feel slighted by this that there is a God who holds the key to hope. Our society is flawed, it has been since the moment that Adam and Eve decided to go against what God specifically told them and sinned. We are sinful, we are selfish, we are detestable. The only cure for our faulty hearts is Christ, to live to glorify Him with everything. We can't go pointing our fingers and others, yelling and waving signs, because although education matters- Christ matters most.
No matter how discouraged, or upset we get by the things of this world we need to keep in perspective that our God is greater than our worries and fears, He conquered death and sin and He and He alone gives us the choice to belong to Him, to live for Him, to live in joy and hope and peace. Our God is sovereign.


"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:20-21

"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips." Psalm 34:1

"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ might be for the praise of his glory." Ephesians 1:11-12

Praying for those I Love

Colossians 1:9-14

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

I hope that my prayers for the people in my life would reflect more of the things that this passage does. That prayers like this would be more constant- Paul says they never stopped praying these things for these people, how powerful is that?!

Pray that:
- God would fill them with the knowledge of God's will
- They would live a life worthy and pleasing to the Lord
- They would bear fruit and grow in the knowledge of Him
- Each of them would be strengthened with God's power and have endurance and patience
- They would joyfully give thanks to God in all circumstances
- Each of them would know that they have been qualified, through Christ, to share in the inheritance of the Kingdom

Also...
This week it really hit me (it's something that I've always known and believed but never really let sink in) that Jesus is alive. I know what you're thinking, "yes, well every christian knows that," but think about it, He died and was raised to life... then never died again- that means that He is just as alive today as He was the day that He was raised, as the day when Thomas put his hand in Jesus's scars. He is fully and completely alive!

"...Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us." Romans 8:34

How amazing is that!

Frozen in Time

Lately I've been stuck in this weird season where I feel frozen in time.

Last week there was an incredibly beautiful warm day and my roommates and I went for a long walk before dinner. It was beautiful and strange at the same time. We haven't done anything like that in a long time.

The three of us met first semester our freshman year and have been nearly inseparable at school ever since. Much has changed in our friendships over the past few years, but we've always had each other. We went from being homesick freshman looking for a way to feel 'settled' at school to roommates all living together looking forward to the next phase in our lives. We've seen each other at our weakest moments and struggled through difficult things and happy things together.

In less than two months I'll watch them walk across the stage to receive their diplomas and officially move into 'adulthood' while I watch from the sidelines. As we walked last week, we reflected on the past four years, talked about internships, wedding plans, and our dreams of life beyond college. I feel like I'm stuck in place, my friends who I started this journey with are moving onto their next journey while I'm still on this one. My friends who got engaged in the past few months will get married this summer and I'll still be planning. My sister and I had always talked about how we would be graduating the same spring and could plan a combined graduation party but that won't happen. She'll be starting college in the fall as I finish out my last semester. My best friend is graduating and making the decision of where to live next year and what to do next. Ethan is working in a real 'grown-up' job, and looking to move out. And I'll still be here. I know with all my heart that this is where God has placed me and that His sovereign hand is at work, but this week, in this instant I'm hoping for something beyond college life, to be preparing to find a real job, a place to live in another town, to get married, and be an adult, but for now this is where God has me. I'm excited to see what He is going to do in my friend's lives and in my own in the next year- so much will change and I know that. For once I'm looking forward to change, I'm ready for it (and if you know me you know typically I strongly dislike change), but that's not where God has me right now and I need to rejoice in the place He has me.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

In a few weeks when I watch my friends walk across the platform and into the next phase of their lives it will be bittersweet. We'll need to say goodbye for now and step into the unknown of what exactly will be next for them. I'll miss them next year, but I know that God is at work in their lives as well, in their own journeys and we'll see each other again.

It's time to reflect on the past, rejoice in today, and move on into tomorrow.

Even though it feels as if my 'life is on hold for the moment, it's still moving and changing each day. Every moment is different than the millions before it and each of those moments is an opportunity to bring glory to God.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11