One year since Togo...

Today it has been exactly one year since I got on the plane to Florida and met my team for Togo. It's amazing how quickly a year goes! I feel like it was just a few weeks ago that I was having all of those feelings and fears- anxiety about going so far away, not knowing much about where I was going or what I was doing, fear about not being able to communicate with my loved ones at home, and being so unsure of what God had in store for us as a team. It's so incredible to look back and think of all God did on that trip, and after, and how unified our team became.

I'm kind of sad today, and missing my team because it has been a year- but I'm excited at the same time because at this moment there is a new team being trained to head to Togo (and some of my teammates are there to welcome and share with them!) I'll definitely be praying for them as they head off to partner with the work that is going on in Togo.

During the next few weeks, I've decided that each day I'm going to ready over my journal and the letters that I wrote- not only to remember how it was, to remember all of the feelings but to look at that chunk of time in my life that was so significant to my growth and maybe see how God moved in ways that I haven't noticed before.

I wish today that I could be in Florida preparing to go see some of these people again and continue where we left off last summer, but that's not where God has me this summer. For now the most I can do is pray for the names and faces of the people I met and share their stories.

A piece of my heart remains in Togo, but I also need to remember that the story God has for me here in the states is just as important to His story. Even though the ministry looks vastly different and our lives here are full of distractions, His story continues.

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints." - Ephesians 1:18

Summer is...

Summer is...
- Sitting on the back porch after dinner with my sister listening to music, singing and journaling as rain falls gently around us
- Thunderstorms with downpours of rain
- Playing guitar and singing with my best friend in an open field as if only God can hear us
- Lightning bugs
- barefeet
- When there's so much sunlight after dinner it's like you have a whole extra day ahead of you
- Popsicles and ice cream
- lightning bugs flickering in the night, and catching them
- tin foil dinners
- reading on a blanket surrounded by grass
- sand between your toes being washed away by cool water
- that feeling when you get in the car like you shouldn't be able to breathe it's so hot
- campfires and s'mores
- the beach
- sunsets (even more so when combined with the ocean and sand)
- playgrounds and swings (especially if you're over the 'age limit' to play on them)
- drawing with chalk on a hot driveway
- flip flops
- hammocks
- star gazing on a warm summer night
- climbing trees
- the fresh smell the earth has right after a rainstorm
- warm sunshine
- dancing in the rain

Just some of the reasons I love this season :)

Being thankful for the tiny things...

So I just wanted to share this really quick. Yesterday I posted about being thankful for the small things and today while reading the book I was talking about in my last post "One Thousand Gifts" I came across this quote:

"Do not disdain the small. The whole of the life- even the hard- is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up." - Ann Voskamp

Love it! :)

Thankfulness & Rainy Days

I am halfway through my second week of summer, it's a particularly rainy, dreary week where I'm spending much of my time organizing old treasures, being crafty, and talking with the dogs. it's quiet, but I'm learning to enjoy it. My nannying job should be starting up pretty soon, and camp won't be starting up for another month- so I'm thinking I should soak in this relaxation time and relish it for as much as it's worth.

I've starting reading a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and granted I'm only on

the second chapter but so far she's said some things that have really got me thinking about life and whether I'm living it out in a way that's pleasing to the Lord or if I'm wasting my days away.
It's easy for me to think that days like today are 'wasted days,' the days where it's pouring down rain and the only thing on my schedule is to take my sister to school and clean/organize something, but those aren't wasted days. The wasted days are the days we don't take time to spend with the Father, the days we are incessantly ungrateful- and I have to admit I've had quite a few of those days this summer but I've decided that those days will be no more. We are flooded with too many blessings each day to live ungrateful and selfish lives.

"Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other."- Ann Voskamp

Also this week I've been looking at Ecclesiastes 11, which reminds me of something out of a Dr. Seuss book.

"Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again." 11:1

- So I'm not really sure what this verse means, at all. I think it could mean something about holding things loosely, sharing what we've been blessed with because God will continue to provide.

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, Maker of all things." 11:5

- This one is a bit easier to figure out and I love it- we can't even begin to comprehend our God's ways but they are perfect and amazing.

"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all but let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless." 11:7-8

- Take time to enjoy each day, be thankful for each one. Don't forget the difficult or 'dark' days of your testimony because God uses them too to sculpt us into who He's created us to be.

"So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." 11:10

- Banish anxiety and worry and fear from your heart- for our desires and are youth mean nothing in comparison to Christ and living for Him.

After spending much of this week searching through the drawers and boxes of the room my sister and I grew up in- sorting through the 'treasures' we've kept over the years these verses kind of hit me a different way. I may be an 'adult' now, but I'm still young and there is more of my life ahead of me (Lord willing) than what is behind. Although all that remains of my childhood are memories, photographs and boxes of 'treasures' there is still a sweetness to life. There is sweetness in each season of life, no matter which season you're in, there is beauty in each day- if you take the time to notice it.

So my goal for the next few weeks is to take more time to spend with the Father, be grateful for each moment I get to spend with those I love and overflow with thankfulness for all Christ has done for me. Soak in the sweetness and beauty of each day- whether it's full of tasks or empty of tasks.

Sunshine

Yesterday was my birthday, for 22 years now I've been living on this earth. It's crazy to think that I'm getting that old...I know that I will never be any younger than I am today but I feel as if 22 is an age where you truly become a grown up. It's exciting, bittersweet, scary, and beautiful all at the same time.

It was a wonderful birthday full of friends, sunshine and love. I spend the majority of the day enjoying the sunshine on a hike with three of my closest friends here at Ship and laying on a beach of a lake not too far from school (the same place actually where Ethan and I got engaged a few months ago). They were calling for rain on Tuesday and miraculously it was warm and sunny all day! I loved it! We came back then and got ready for a dinner out- which was equally as good.

This past weekend I headed to Lancaster to hang out, celebrate my birthday with Ethan and (the real reason for being in Lancaster) to surprise my best friend Kari at her school's senior commissioning- and it was a success!

God has blessed me with so many wonderful people in my life, and I am not deserving of it in the least bit, but I'm so thankful for each and every person He's placed along my path :)

The past few days I've been thinking quite a bit how even though I'll be coming back in the fall I'm kind of closing the door or 'rounding' a corner in my college life, or I guess really with life in general. So many things are about to change: this summer I will be taking on a different role at the camp I've been working at the past few years and at the end of the summer, in the fall my sister will begin her first year of college and I'll be starting student teaching, beginning my job hunt and planning for my wedding. Today I completed my last final of my college career and my summer has begun. My roommates and best friend will be graduating this weekend and as everything shifts and changes I know that there is a constant. God is here, He always has been and He always will be. The same God who created the universe and holds it together is in control of my life even if the changes seem like madness He's got it.

A few days ago the director of the camp I work at emailed me the idea of being the camp's bible teacher this summer instead of taking on the role as the arts & crafts teacher. The idea scared me a little, the idea of leading chapel each week really, and so I spent a few days praying and trying to determine if this is what God had planned for me this summer. While trying to figure it out someone shared this passage with me:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. - Philippians 4:12-13

Verse 13 is a familiar verse to most, but this really got me thinking that no matter what obstacle stands in my path, if Christ is my anchor, the one whom my identity and fully reliance is in- nothing is impossible. After I responded to the camp director that I knew it would be a stretching experience but I was willing to try it out I got a text from my friend saying that someone she knows was really interested in the job. It's interesting how God does things, I had come to a decision that I was going to trust Him in it and knew that He would give me all I needed for that job then in the end I won't be doing it after all. It was a lesson that He's more interested in the molding and teaching than in the outcome. So, this summer I will be teaching arts and crafts at camp and she will be doing bible. I'm pretty excited and content in the fact that God will use each person at camp this summer, regardless of our job descriptions, to spread His name, show His love, and bring Him glory and I will continue to trust that He'll be more than enough for me in whatever I'll be doing. I. can't. wait.

Welp, I think that's enough for today. Hope this post finds you in the middle of a beautiful week whether it's rainy or sunny, happy or sad we have Christ and in that we can rejoice and that is truly beautiful!

Mashed Potato Hugs

Today was my last day at placement. I spent the morning teaching the most crucial skills of hula hooping and hopscotch in the warm sunlight. Once inside I discussed with three girls their paintings and noticed one girl has been continuously making pictures of her at the "big school." Kindergarten registration has come and gone and the majority of the children in the class have gone to visit their 'big schools' and the conversations about them and how different it will be have been flowing for a few weeks. I spent a good chunk of the rest of my day listening to and trying to calm some the fears of three small girls going to Kindergarten in the fall. We read books, looked at pictures and I shared with them what I remember about Kindergarten and what Kindergarten was like when I taught in it last semester. It really got me thinking about how often instead of embracing and being excited about life changes I fear them and avoid that they will be coming soon. I feel like fearing change and the future is some what natural. I've hit an age in life where most everyone around me is taking the leap of leaving home, leaving college, moving into searching for a career and becoming adults. It is a scary time, transition and change are full of unknowns and it's usually not the most comfortable thing but looking back there are so many events and changes in life that if we let fear take over and avoided them completely we would not be the people we are today.

God uses the difficult things, the hard things, the transitions to refine us, to make us more like Him- to be the people He created.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:6-7

Even though the girls I talked with this morning are only five, they have fears and worries about their future- though those fears seem small to us they are GIGANTIC to them. We all know that Kindergarten is not so scary a place, once you've been there and that once it turns time to move onto middle school similar feelings of fear start to arise but then we realized it really wasn't soooo bad. Just like those fears seem small to us now and how they molded us into who we are; our worries about where we'll work, live, what we'll be in five years will shape us into who we will be. God knows where we'll be in five years, and what we'll be doing- He's held each of us through our entire lives- He's drawn us into Him and He will continue to do so into eternity. We have no reason to worry or fear because the God who made the universe holds our little lives in the palm of His hand and He won't let us go.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken." - Psalm 62:5-6

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:11-13

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:28-33

Today as I left to head to my last college classes of my undergrad, I left my little pre-kers eating their lunch of turkey and mashed potatoes. I stood at the door and said goodbyes to them all, told them I will miss them, that I hope that I'll see them again some day, wished them a good rest of the year. I was then stampeded by eighteen four and five year olds covered in mashed potatoes giving me the biggest group hug I've ever received. I sincerely will miss them, I don't know what the God has planned for their lives but I pray that they will come to know Him, rest all of their worries and cares in Him, and walk in His glorious plan for their lives.