This song has been playing on repeat in my room all day- love Kari Jobe!
January 24, 2012
God is GOOD.
Hey!
My brother and sister have gone back to school, we finally had our first *winter* snow (it snowed back in October, but that was technically fall...so therefore it doesn't really count- right?). I'm getting into the groove of living back at home with my parents. I organized and cleaned the room that has been 'mine' for my entire life- came across a few treasures and a few changes to make it more home-y for me the next few months. I've spent my days applying to jobs, watching Friends, testing out some pinterest ideas and wedding planning (can you believe it's just 15 weeks away!).
God has been teaching me a significant amount during these days of quiet. He's been reminding me that life isn't about my plans and how I want things to go- but about Him and His perfect plans. He's been leading me in taking a look at where I place my identity and being defined by Him and nothing else. Finally He's been teaching me to let go, give Him control and rest in His provision and care. Some days this learning is tough and even painful but I know that He is using this season to refine me and draw me closer to Him- so it is beyond worth it.
In the past two weeks I have had five interviews, with a sixth tomorrow and I've gotten two job offers (which I have accepted)- talk about provision! God's also been opening doors for employment after the wedding, which is awesome! I went to an interview today for tssing/respite care and they mentioned they recently opened an office where I will be living after we're married and that they're looking to employ people there for those positions! How awesome is that! God is providing & I know He will continue to do so.
My brother and sister have gone back to school, we finally had our first *winter* snow (it snowed back in October, but that was technically fall...so therefore it doesn't really count- right?). I'm getting into the groove of living back at home with my parents. I organized and cleaned the room that has been 'mine' for my entire life- came across a few treasures and a few changes to make it more home-y for me the next few months. I've spent my days applying to jobs, watching Friends, testing out some pinterest ideas and wedding planning (can you believe it's just 15 weeks away!).
God has been teaching me a significant amount during these days of quiet. He's been reminding me that life isn't about my plans and how I want things to go- but about Him and His perfect plans. He's been leading me in taking a look at where I place my identity and being defined by Him and nothing else. Finally He's been teaching me to let go, give Him control and rest in His provision and care. Some days this learning is tough and even painful but I know that He is using this season to refine me and draw me closer to Him- so it is beyond worth it.
In the past two weeks I have had five interviews, with a sixth tomorrow and I've gotten two job offers (which I have accepted)- talk about provision! God's also been opening doors for employment after the wedding, which is awesome! I went to an interview today for tssing/respite care and they mentioned they recently opened an office where I will be living after we're married and that they're looking to employ people there for those positions! How awesome is that! God is providing & I know He will continue to do so.
January 5, 2012
Perfect Plans
"When ours are interrupted, his are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable) "toward the goal of true maturity" - Elisabeth Elliot
January 4, 2012
Hey 2012!
Happy New Year!
Here's my life update, prepare for lots of random.
So far my 2012 has been full of lots of relaxation, reading and guitar playing (with my new beautiful guitar I got as a graduation gift from my parents :)!)- a nice way to kick of the start to a year full of changes if I do say so myself! I haven't been able to start substitute teaching for awhile it seems, which is really frustrating, but there is really nothing I can do about it. God has a plan.
The childcare center that I began working at this summer hired me back for one or two nights a week and I started back there last night. It is so strange to see the contrast of the students I student taught and children around here- it's kind of funny and kind of very sad.
The Passion conference is going on this week in Atlanta and I have always wanted to go- well, this year they've been posting the live sessions online- I've been loving it! So many great reminders and things to think about going into a new year full of a lot of changes.
Lastly, I came across this song today that I wanted to share- I am LOVING the lyrics.
Have a wonderful week!
By This Fire- Audrey Assad
Wrench from me desire
Lord ignite my fire
Until I burn, until I give it all up for You
Until I do what You’ve been asking me to
Cause You deserve much more
Than what I’m living for
So give me passion that is raging and wild
Untouched by pride with joy alight and purified
Chorus:
Left behind by this fire
Are ashes lifeless and grey
But underneath lies desire
That You have placed there to bloom through the pain
To bring honor and praise to Your name
You deserve no less
Than my heart’s brokenness
Until I burn like a star in the sky
To give you Praise, life Your name, to glorify
You have told me I have no shame.
So wrench me, mold me until I glorify Your name
Here's my life update, prepare for lots of random.
So far my 2012 has been full of lots of relaxation, reading and guitar playing (with my new beautiful guitar I got as a graduation gift from my parents :)!)- a nice way to kick of the start to a year full of changes if I do say so myself! I haven't been able to start substitute teaching for awhile it seems, which is really frustrating, but there is really nothing I can do about it. God has a plan.
The childcare center that I began working at this summer hired me back for one or two nights a week and I started back there last night. It is so strange to see the contrast of the students I student taught and children around here- it's kind of funny and kind of very sad.
The Passion conference is going on this week in Atlanta and I have always wanted to go- well, this year they've been posting the live sessions online- I've been loving it! So many great reminders and things to think about going into a new year full of a lot of changes.
Lastly, I came across this song today that I wanted to share- I am LOVING the lyrics.
Have a wonderful week!
By This Fire- Audrey Assad
Wrench from me desire
Lord ignite my fire
Until I burn, until I give it all up for You
Until I do what You’ve been asking me to
Cause You deserve much more
Than what I’m living for
So give me passion that is raging and wild
Untouched by pride with joy alight and purified
Chorus:
Left behind by this fire
Are ashes lifeless and grey
But underneath lies desire
That You have placed there to bloom through the pain
To bring honor and praise to Your name
You deserve no less
Than my heart’s brokenness
Until I burn like a star in the sky
To give you Praise, life Your name, to glorify
You have told me I have no shame.
So wrench me, mold me until I glorify Your name
December 22, 2011
A New (Short) Chapter
I'm a college graduate!!!!
I graduated Saturday and since then it has been non-stop Christmas preparation with the family. I'm finding it hard to focus on the meaning and purpose of Christmas. All I can think about is the next four months and what lies ahead. I already miss my students, the busyness of teaching and being in front of a classroom full of children- and it's only been one week. I've applied a few places for subbing but haven't heard anything back yet- which is expected being the week before Christmas and all. I just wish I could square everything away and be ready to start working right after new years, but I'm going to need to wait on God's timing and stop trying to get things to work according to mine. Ha running theme of my life- I need to let go of my grip of control.
I've also been struggling lately with identity. I've been a student for almost all of my life, about 18 years, and now I'm not. I've noticed that I've placed so much of my identity in that part of myself and now that 'student' isn't a term that defines me I feel lost. It's a reality check in how much I place my identity in Christ and who He says I am as opposed to how this world defines me.
I'm hoping over the next few weeks to find a part-time job, start subbing, continue with wedding/marriage plans (it's about 4 months away!), and build on my support system here. After my siblings and friends head back to school I'll be living here for the next few months- I'm planning to look into the small groups at my church and possibly join one. Although I'll only be living here for a brief time I don't want to miss the opportunities God has for me now because I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter to begin.
I graduated Saturday and since then it has been non-stop Christmas preparation with the family. I'm finding it hard to focus on the meaning and purpose of Christmas. All I can think about is the next four months and what lies ahead. I already miss my students, the busyness of teaching and being in front of a classroom full of children- and it's only been one week. I've applied a few places for subbing but haven't heard anything back yet- which is expected being the week before Christmas and all. I just wish I could square everything away and be ready to start working right after new years, but I'm going to need to wait on God's timing and stop trying to get things to work according to mine. Ha running theme of my life- I need to let go of my grip of control.
I've also been struggling lately with identity. I've been a student for almost all of my life, about 18 years, and now I'm not. I've noticed that I've placed so much of my identity in that part of myself and now that 'student' isn't a term that defines me I feel lost. It's a reality check in how much I place my identity in Christ and who He says I am as opposed to how this world defines me.
I'm hoping over the next few weeks to find a part-time job, start subbing, continue with wedding/marriage plans (it's about 4 months away!), and build on my support system here. After my siblings and friends head back to school I'll be living here for the next few months- I'm planning to look into the small groups at my church and possibly join one. Although I'll only be living here for a brief time I don't want to miss the opportunities God has for me now because I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter to begin.
December 6, 2011
Dreams
Lately I feel in transition. I've been thinking and it seems to me that people in their twenties, heading into college, in college or just out of college are full of hope. They have a hope that their dreams, passions and desires will come true. They believe that anything is possible. Then a time comes when those earthly passions are crushed or destroyed (ha I know this sounds depressing but hold on). We grow up hearing that we can do whatever we wish, we just have to work hard enough and make it come true. Somewhere between childhood and shortly after college many people lose that hope. Where does it go? Why does it go?
I believe that many people let go of their hopes and dreams because of failure- because doors have been shut. Failure is a part of this earth- heaven has no failure, heaven has no pain. So I've been thinking: if we are seeking Christ in all that we do and desire- do our dreams fail? I believe that when we are truly seeking Christ our dreams and desires are no longer what we want, but they become what He wants. When our heart becomes aligned with God's He transforms us into who He created us to be, He transforms our hearts, refines our attitudes and not only that but He transforms our dreams and desires.
Lately I've been thinking about what my hopes and dreams are. I've been reminiscing on who I was as a small person in elementary school and who I am today- how much has changed. Looking back on my past 4 1/2 years in college I see so much change in who I am and just in life in general. When I look back, though it can be really difficult, it is also very refining and growing within itself.
I've been wondering: are my dreams, my hopes, and what I do- are they really centered around Christ and have they been placed on my heart and are they being done solely for God's glory- or are they things that my earthly sinful selfish desires.
I believe that dreams that are focused on Christ, that are for His glory, that have been placed within us by God for His purposes will never fail. It is when they are for this world and rooted in sin and selfishness that they wither and die.
I've been praying for God to refine me so that my heart, mind, actions and dreams would be centered on Him and for His glory alone.
I am so excited to start this new part of my journey, but I won't deny that I am a little scared. I know that God will lead me exactly where He wants me to do His work and that I need to seek Him for all of my comfort and joy but sometimes it's harder than it seems. It's hard to think that maybe what I've been thinking I will do with my life may, and probably will, look completely different than what I've imagined. It's hard to let go.
I pray that we all will be continually filled with His unending hope, comfort and joy and constantly remember that this life isn't about us and this world is not our home.
"Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your word." Psalm 119:3-37
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." Psalm 37:4-7
I believe that many people let go of their hopes and dreams because of failure- because doors have been shut. Failure is a part of this earth- heaven has no failure, heaven has no pain. So I've been thinking: if we are seeking Christ in all that we do and desire- do our dreams fail? I believe that when we are truly seeking Christ our dreams and desires are no longer what we want, but they become what He wants. When our heart becomes aligned with God's He transforms us into who He created us to be, He transforms our hearts, refines our attitudes and not only that but He transforms our dreams and desires.
Lately I've been thinking about what my hopes and dreams are. I've been reminiscing on who I was as a small person in elementary school and who I am today- how much has changed. Looking back on my past 4 1/2 years in college I see so much change in who I am and just in life in general. When I look back, though it can be really difficult, it is also very refining and growing within itself.
I've been wondering: are my dreams, my hopes, and what I do- are they really centered around Christ and have they been placed on my heart and are they being done solely for God's glory- or are they things that my earthly sinful selfish desires.
I believe that dreams that are focused on Christ, that are for His glory, that have been placed within us by God for His purposes will never fail. It is when they are for this world and rooted in sin and selfishness that they wither and die.
I've been praying for God to refine me so that my heart, mind, actions and dreams would be centered on Him and for His glory alone.
I am so excited to start this new part of my journey, but I won't deny that I am a little scared. I know that God will lead me exactly where He wants me to do His work and that I need to seek Him for all of my comfort and joy but sometimes it's harder than it seems. It's hard to think that maybe what I've been thinking I will do with my life may, and probably will, look completely different than what I've imagined. It's hard to let go.
I pray that we all will be continually filled with His unending hope, comfort and joy and constantly remember that this life isn't about us and this world is not our home.
"Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your word." Psalm 119:3-37
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." Psalm 37:4-7
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