Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
No comments:
Post a Comment