So I have far too much to do to actually sit down and write, but I wanted to share a tiny bit of what God's been putting on my heart through some of the verses that have been on my mind a lot lately.
"Unless the Lord builds the house,its builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." - Psalm 127:1
Unless the Lord is my motivation and my foundation, all of my efforts are in vain.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:8-12
* Our plans and thoughts are not concrete (we need to remember that), it is the Lord's purposes and plans that prevail and that matter. His plans are far greater than anything we could plan or think of ourselves.
* We need to find joy every day in Him, even in the mundane things and the things that don't seem 'good' to us. Our joy should not be dependent on the amount of work we get done, on whether or not we get to relax, or on anything that is circumstantial. Today is a fleeting moment, that will fade. Our Creator loves us, and we can be satisfied in nothing apart from Him. How awesome is it to be a citizen of His Kingdom and know that one day all of this will fade and we will be with Him forever!
"I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." -Romans 9:17
October 25, 2010
October 15, 2010
Humility
Hello :)
So the semester is trucking along (and by trucking I mean as busily and slowly as possible) but this morning while I was walking to class I was thinking, a few days short of a month from now the vast majority of my assignments will be turned in! How freeing is that? So right now I may feel so weighted down but in a little bit these checklists will be crossed off and it will be time for relaxing. I also got to thinking about things in the past that seemed like they would never get done but yet they all did, I made it through them and I know for sure I'll make it through this.
I guess I'll update a little on what's been going on. I'm two weeks into my part-time part of my placement, I'm in Kindergarten at a little rural school over the mountain andddd loving it. I really have been learning a lot and taking time to think about what I would do differently and how best to help these kids grasp the concepts. Last weekend on my drive home for fall break all I could think about were the students and how I could help them each individually, it actually fills my thoughts pretty often and has become a part of my prayer life- I'm enjoying it. Funny how I've only been with those little buddies a few days and I already feel like I know so much about them and want to see them succeed.
A few friends and I have started getting together on Wednesday nights to study the book of James and spend time in prayer with one another. So far it's been going great, we come and just share what God taught us through the passage (or in life in general) and ask each other questions to get us thinking deeper. They're such great girls!
This week we were studying James 4 and it really hit home for me. It starts off by talking about how all of our arguments and disputes stem from inside of us, that it is basically us throwing a tantrum because we're not getting our way. Earlier this week I was eating lunch with a friend and we started talking about tantrums and how no matter how old we get, we still "throw a fit" (either inwardly or outwardly) when our little lives aren't going the way that we want.
James goes on in verses 2 and 3 to say "you do not have, because you do not ask God," and that when we do ask, we ask "with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." We make it all about us.
Humility- it's not about me, so why the heck do I keep acting like it is. I want my little corner of the world to keep spinning at the exact speed, temperature, and direction that I want it to with no regard to God- it's sickening. It got me thinking about how much God taught me this summer about relying on Him solely and how far from that place I was in this summer I feel now that my work load has increased. My relationship with God should not depend on how busy I am, or anything else- those are distractions. In verse 4 it says:
"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
Woah- Anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. So often, God works on this area of my life, these past few months He's been revealing how much of a 'people pleaser' I am. I try so hard to make other people happy, to 'not step on anyone's toes' and throw so much of my emotions and heart into making sure that I'm doing what everyone else wants (regardless of whether they know it or not, and I read into things in order to try and see what they want). God's really been working on that portion of my heart and mind for awhile, and here it is again in the word.
When I read the verse at first I was kind of confused as to why they used the term 'adulterous', I started trying to figure it out by looking in the reference part of my bible and it sent me to Isaiah 54:5, which makes it so much clearer.
"For your maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is His name- the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."
We are His bride, and so when we turn to anything else to be fulfilled or give in to distractions from Him we are being adulterous.
Later in chapter 4 of James it says:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (verses 7-8)
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up." (verse 10)
It's all about humility, it's about laying down all that you cling to and surrendering it to God. It's about stepping of the thrones of control and worry in our hearts and minds and letting the King of the universe take over.
In greek the word humility translates to a word that means: "humbleness of mind, humility of mind, lowliness, lowliness of mind"
It's of the mind. Humility is about letting go of all that we let control our thoughts and letting His grace, mercy, and love wash over us, giving Him full authority in every aspect of our lives. He knows best and He is all that we need.
Our lives are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes..." (James 4:14) so what am I living for, my worries, struggles and plans are so brief in comparison to my life, in comparison to eternity they are nothing. "Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up."
So the semester is trucking along (and by trucking I mean as busily and slowly as possible) but this morning while I was walking to class I was thinking, a few days short of a month from now the vast majority of my assignments will be turned in! How freeing is that? So right now I may feel so weighted down but in a little bit these checklists will be crossed off and it will be time for relaxing. I also got to thinking about things in the past that seemed like they would never get done but yet they all did, I made it through them and I know for sure I'll make it through this.
I guess I'll update a little on what's been going on. I'm two weeks into my part-time part of my placement, I'm in Kindergarten at a little rural school over the mountain andddd loving it. I really have been learning a lot and taking time to think about what I would do differently and how best to help these kids grasp the concepts. Last weekend on my drive home for fall break all I could think about were the students and how I could help them each individually, it actually fills my thoughts pretty often and has become a part of my prayer life- I'm enjoying it. Funny how I've only been with those little buddies a few days and I already feel like I know so much about them and want to see them succeed.
A few friends and I have started getting together on Wednesday nights to study the book of James and spend time in prayer with one another. So far it's been going great, we come and just share what God taught us through the passage (or in life in general) and ask each other questions to get us thinking deeper. They're such great girls!
This week we were studying James 4 and it really hit home for me. It starts off by talking about how all of our arguments and disputes stem from inside of us, that it is basically us throwing a tantrum because we're not getting our way. Earlier this week I was eating lunch with a friend and we started talking about tantrums and how no matter how old we get, we still "throw a fit" (either inwardly or outwardly) when our little lives aren't going the way that we want.
James goes on in verses 2 and 3 to say "you do not have, because you do not ask God," and that when we do ask, we ask "with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." We make it all about us.
Humility- it's not about me, so why the heck do I keep acting like it is. I want my little corner of the world to keep spinning at the exact speed, temperature, and direction that I want it to with no regard to God- it's sickening. It got me thinking about how much God taught me this summer about relying on Him solely and how far from that place I was in this summer I feel now that my work load has increased. My relationship with God should not depend on how busy I am, or anything else- those are distractions. In verse 4 it says:
"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
Woah- Anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. So often, God works on this area of my life, these past few months He's been revealing how much of a 'people pleaser' I am. I try so hard to make other people happy, to 'not step on anyone's toes' and throw so much of my emotions and heart into making sure that I'm doing what everyone else wants (regardless of whether they know it or not, and I read into things in order to try and see what they want). God's really been working on that portion of my heart and mind for awhile, and here it is again in the word.
When I read the verse at first I was kind of confused as to why they used the term 'adulterous', I started trying to figure it out by looking in the reference part of my bible and it sent me to Isaiah 54:5, which makes it so much clearer.
"For your maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is His name- the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."
We are His bride, and so when we turn to anything else to be fulfilled or give in to distractions from Him we are being adulterous.
Later in chapter 4 of James it says:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (verses 7-8)
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up." (verse 10)
It's all about humility, it's about laying down all that you cling to and surrendering it to God. It's about stepping of the thrones of control and worry in our hearts and minds and letting the King of the universe take over.
In greek the word humility translates to a word that means: "humbleness of mind, humility of mind, lowliness, lowliness of mind"
It's of the mind. Humility is about letting go of all that we let control our thoughts and letting His grace, mercy, and love wash over us, giving Him full authority in every aspect of our lives. He knows best and He is all that we need.
Our lives are "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes..." (James 4:14) so what am I living for, my worries, struggles and plans are so brief in comparison to my life, in comparison to eternity they are nothing. "Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up."
September 28, 2010
Restless til I rest in You
The past few weeks have been crazy with work and projects, I've been cherishing my short time early in the morning when I can sit down and just be with God and I've been blown away by the fact that in Christ we are children of God and have access to His kingdom. WE HAVE ACCESS TO THE KINGDOM OF GOD, and although the gift is free and is given freely- it came at a cost. Jesus came to earth, became a human- something that was completely selfless. Christ probably wasn’t thinking- I’d like to know what it’s like to live in a world full of sin and evil- where people live under the reign of Satan instead of my Father, but He did it for us. We have been given the gift of eternal life through Christ’s sacrificial love for us- so should we desire to live a life of sacrifice in return? A life fully trusting in God, relying on Him for all of our needs and desires, life yearning to please our King is what we were made for.
Over the summer a passage that I continued to look back on was Jeremiah 17, it has become a favorite since then.
“This is what the Lord says: Cursed is the one who trust in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will dwell in the parched places of the desert in a salt land where no one lives.”(Verses 5-6)
How often do we depend on others for our strength- do we run to them for comfort and help? I know that more frequently than not, I seek peoples approval and comfort before I go to God and rest in His arms. There’s a song by Audrey Assad that says “I’m restless until I rest in You,” we were hand created by God, for His glory and purposes and cannot be filled or satisfied by anything or anyone other than him. These verses say that a person who seeks after/depends on humans for strength will live in the wastelands, the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. I picture a tree in the desert with no leaves dry with no supply of water and no way to be nourished.
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (verses 7-8)
These verses are so full of hope and promise. Those who trust in the Lord, who find their confidence in Him are like a tree who never has to worry about how it will continue to thrive and grow and never fails to bear fruit. If our trust wholly rests in the hands of our creator we have no reason to fear or lack in confidence because the God who made the universe is holding our life. If we live each moment to seek and know Him, to glorify Him in our lives so that He becomes greater we become less we will be like a tree whose roots go down in a stream and always have a source of life.
It’s crazy sometimes how when God’s teaching you something it’s like the repeat button is on everything you hear or say, everything ‘happens’ to have a common theme- I don’t believe it’s a coincidence.
In church the past few weeks the pastor has been going through Proverbs 3, it’s been so cool to see that the whole chapter is really about trust- I’ve grown up knowing the verses 5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Trust means to take refuge, put confidence in, Lean means to rest upon, seek support of, and ‘our own understanding’ means our own skills, intelligence, senses and emotion. On our own, apart from Jesus we can do nothing, as much as we try or think we can, we can’t. Take refuge, put your confidence and trust in the Lord with your whole heart, rest upon, seek support of, rely and lean not on ourselves but on Christ and He will supply me with all that we need and we will have no reason to fear when hard times come because the creator of the world holds us and our confidence is in Him.
Over the summer a passage that I continued to look back on was Jeremiah 17, it has become a favorite since then.
“This is what the Lord says: Cursed is the one who trust in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will dwell in the parched places of the desert in a salt land where no one lives.”(Verses 5-6)
How often do we depend on others for our strength- do we run to them for comfort and help? I know that more frequently than not, I seek peoples approval and comfort before I go to God and rest in His arms. There’s a song by Audrey Assad that says “I’m restless until I rest in You,” we were hand created by God, for His glory and purposes and cannot be filled or satisfied by anything or anyone other than him. These verses say that a person who seeks after/depends on humans for strength will live in the wastelands, the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. I picture a tree in the desert with no leaves dry with no supply of water and no way to be nourished.
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (verses 7-8)
These verses are so full of hope and promise. Those who trust in the Lord, who find their confidence in Him are like a tree who never has to worry about how it will continue to thrive and grow and never fails to bear fruit. If our trust wholly rests in the hands of our creator we have no reason to fear or lack in confidence because the God who made the universe is holding our life. If we live each moment to seek and know Him, to glorify Him in our lives so that He becomes greater we become less we will be like a tree whose roots go down in a stream and always have a source of life.
It’s crazy sometimes how when God’s teaching you something it’s like the repeat button is on everything you hear or say, everything ‘happens’ to have a common theme- I don’t believe it’s a coincidence.
In church the past few weeks the pastor has been going through Proverbs 3, it’s been so cool to see that the whole chapter is really about trust- I’ve grown up knowing the verses 5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Trust means to take refuge, put confidence in, Lean means to rest upon, seek support of, and ‘our own understanding’ means our own skills, intelligence, senses and emotion. On our own, apart from Jesus we can do nothing, as much as we try or think we can, we can’t. Take refuge, put your confidence and trust in the Lord with your whole heart, rest upon, seek support of, rely and lean not on ourselves but on Christ and He will supply me with all that we need and we will have no reason to fear when hard times come because the creator of the world holds us and our confidence is in Him.
September 9, 2010
Looking Back and Moving Forward
So it's nearing the end of my second week of school. I'm all settled into my room and getting used to being back.I'm working at remembering and living out the lessons God taught me this summer by trying to let go and surrender each day to Christ.
Today I have for the most part free, so I decided to sit down and read through my journal from Togo (or at least some of it, it's pretty long!) I found an entry from the third week where I listed all of the lessons I had learned so far on the journey, this is it :)
"Lessons learned from Togo
Though I've only been here for a few short weeks I've already learned so much that I don't want to ever forget.
I've learned how blessed I truly am, I grew up in a place where material things are taken for granted, and so easily I'm blinded and forget how much I'm blessed each day. I've seen how truly lucky I am.
I've seen how faithful God is and learned the power of prayer. I've learned the importance of abiding in God ALONE.
I've seen how much control and how many distractions Satan uses to draw me away from God. I've learned that if I just spend the time I set apart for God for HIS glory, and really dig deep, how much He has to reveal to me. I've learned that abiding and trusting God with everything means fully surrendering without fear or doubt.
I've learned how little I know and how much I need to learn.
I've seen firsthand how God can use anything He wants, even the color of my skin to reveal His glory. I've realized how often I limit God's power in my mind and I know that He is capable of much more than i can imagine and does things in HIS timing HIS way. I've learned how sweet and good His timing and and His way really are.
I've seen poverty and lifestyles I hardly believed existed or had only read about it books or seen on t.v. I've seen how much joy that believers living in those hard situations have and how they realize that this life isn't about them or their wants or needs, but God is good despite the circumstances and His joy lasts.
I've seen how much sin reigns over peoples lives and how much we are in need of a Savior. I've learned how strong Satan is, but how much STRONGER God is. I've learned that PERFECT LOVE casts out ALL fear.
I've learned that when you turn all your worries and anxieties over to Christ FULLY and lay them at the cross He will supply all you need and FILL you with a peace and joy beyond any we have tried to build for ourselves or find here on this earth. And indescribable peace and joy that can only come from Christ.
I've learned that God is Sovereign and His ways and His purposes are higher than any of mine could ever be (by far.)
I've learned that even though at times I may feel worthless, useless or incomplete ONLY HE can fill me and satisfy all of my desires. God knows what I need. He is all I need.
I've seen the beauty of God's creation through His people, His scenery, in children's laughs and in the night sky. I've grown deeper in relationship with my Father in heaven and realize how far I have to go. It's come to my attention how frequently I've put my relationship with Christ on the sidelines of my life and how much I desire for Him to be my first priority in ALL areas of my life.
I've seen how powerful the gospel is and how through its simplicity and freedom people can be transformed. God is molding each of His children, God is transforming me, into His image.
I've realized that the bible is FULL of truth. Every single piece, every word, every promise. The creator of the WHOLE world loves me, takes care of me, provides all I need and I take it so lightly. I have no reason to be afraid or worried: the God who made the stars, the universe and everything in it is in control of my life.
I've learned more about God's gift of the Holy Spirt and how much His gift of grace and freedom from sin really is worth.
I've learned that although overseas missions isn't something I feel called to right now, His ministry is something that we as believers are called to each day, wherever we are in whatever we are doing. All we do should be done for His glory alone.
I've learned that although I often get nervous or afraid, unless I step out in faith and do what I'm afraid of and let go of my fears, those fears will never subside. Perfect love, only Christ's love, casts out fear.
I've seen how easy most American's have it materialistically and how entitled we think we are to having that ease. I've learned how worthless everything on this Earth is in comparison to Christ. I've learned to appreciate what I've been given more.
I've learned that each moment is its own and should be treated for what it is: a fleeting gift.
I've been reminded that my life is not my own, that the only purpose worth living for is God's.
I've seen, played with, and held some of the 'unloved' and 'unwanted' of this world and learned how much God's love alone is all that can satisfy. He is all they need, and He is all I need. As believers we are all called children of God.
I've learned that when you 'lose your life' for Christ that is when you find it.
I am hidden with Christ in God and He is all I need. All else can fade away, all I need is Jesus.
I've seen how much I struggle with pride, selfishness, patience, compassion, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness (just to name a few) and know that only with the help of the Holy Spirit can any of that change.
I've been reminded of how unworthy I am of God's gift and how much I don't deserve His love and grace and how my life should be lived as a life of praise and thankfulness to the King.
I have been entrusted (1 Timothy 1:14) with the gift of the gospel, I am an heir to His inheritance and have access to the kingdom. I need to live a life worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27) and of the calling. I need to pour the fragrance of Christ wherever I am, during whatever I'm doing (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).
I want to daily live in His presence, soaking in as much of Him as I can and let it overflow to the world around me. I want Jesus to be the center and the source of my life."
"There is nothing good, nothing holy, nothing beautiful, nothing joyous which He is not to His servants. No one need to be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need to be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to and of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all he has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more." - A.W. Tozer
Today I have for the most part free, so I decided to sit down and read through my journal from Togo (or at least some of it, it's pretty long!) I found an entry from the third week where I listed all of the lessons I had learned so far on the journey, this is it :)
"Lessons learned from Togo
Though I've only been here for a few short weeks I've already learned so much that I don't want to ever forget.
I've learned how blessed I truly am, I grew up in a place where material things are taken for granted, and so easily I'm blinded and forget how much I'm blessed each day. I've seen how truly lucky I am.
I've seen how faithful God is and learned the power of prayer. I've learned the importance of abiding in God ALONE.
I've seen how much control and how many distractions Satan uses to draw me away from God. I've learned that if I just spend the time I set apart for God for HIS glory, and really dig deep, how much He has to reveal to me. I've learned that abiding and trusting God with everything means fully surrendering without fear or doubt.
I've learned how little I know and how much I need to learn.
I've seen firsthand how God can use anything He wants, even the color of my skin to reveal His glory. I've realized how often I limit God's power in my mind and I know that He is capable of much more than i can imagine and does things in HIS timing HIS way. I've learned how sweet and good His timing and and His way really are.
I've seen poverty and lifestyles I hardly believed existed or had only read about it books or seen on t.v. I've seen how much joy that believers living in those hard situations have and how they realize that this life isn't about them or their wants or needs, but God is good despite the circumstances and His joy lasts.
I've seen how much sin reigns over peoples lives and how much we are in need of a Savior. I've learned how strong Satan is, but how much STRONGER God is. I've learned that PERFECT LOVE casts out ALL fear.
I've learned that when you turn all your worries and anxieties over to Christ FULLY and lay them at the cross He will supply all you need and FILL you with a peace and joy beyond any we have tried to build for ourselves or find here on this earth. And indescribable peace and joy that can only come from Christ.
I've learned that God is Sovereign and His ways and His purposes are higher than any of mine could ever be (by far.)
I've learned that even though at times I may feel worthless, useless or incomplete ONLY HE can fill me and satisfy all of my desires. God knows what I need. He is all I need.
I've seen the beauty of God's creation through His people, His scenery, in children's laughs and in the night sky. I've grown deeper in relationship with my Father in heaven and realize how far I have to go. It's come to my attention how frequently I've put my relationship with Christ on the sidelines of my life and how much I desire for Him to be my first priority in ALL areas of my life.
I've seen how powerful the gospel is and how through its simplicity and freedom people can be transformed. God is molding each of His children, God is transforming me, into His image.
I've realized that the bible is FULL of truth. Every single piece, every word, every promise. The creator of the WHOLE world loves me, takes care of me, provides all I need and I take it so lightly. I have no reason to be afraid or worried: the God who made the stars, the universe and everything in it is in control of my life.
I've learned more about God's gift of the Holy Spirt and how much His gift of grace and freedom from sin really is worth.
I've learned that although overseas missions isn't something I feel called to right now, His ministry is something that we as believers are called to each day, wherever we are in whatever we are doing. All we do should be done for His glory alone.
I've learned that although I often get nervous or afraid, unless I step out in faith and do what I'm afraid of and let go of my fears, those fears will never subside. Perfect love, only Christ's love, casts out fear.
I've seen how easy most American's have it materialistically and how entitled we think we are to having that ease. I've learned how worthless everything on this Earth is in comparison to Christ. I've learned to appreciate what I've been given more.
I've learned that each moment is its own and should be treated for what it is: a fleeting gift.
I've been reminded that my life is not my own, that the only purpose worth living for is God's.
I've seen, played with, and held some of the 'unloved' and 'unwanted' of this world and learned how much God's love alone is all that can satisfy. He is all they need, and He is all I need. As believers we are all called children of God.
I've learned that when you 'lose your life' for Christ that is when you find it.
I am hidden with Christ in God and He is all I need. All else can fade away, all I need is Jesus.
I've seen how much I struggle with pride, selfishness, patience, compassion, kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness (just to name a few) and know that only with the help of the Holy Spirit can any of that change.
I've been reminded of how unworthy I am of God's gift and how much I don't deserve His love and grace and how my life should be lived as a life of praise and thankfulness to the King.
I have been entrusted (1 Timothy 1:14) with the gift of the gospel, I am an heir to His inheritance and have access to the kingdom. I need to live a life worthy of the gospel (Philippians 1:27) and of the calling. I need to pour the fragrance of Christ wherever I am, during whatever I'm doing (2 Corinthians 2:14-15).
I want to daily live in His presence, soaking in as much of Him as I can and let it overflow to the world around me. I want Jesus to be the center and the source of my life."
"There is nothing good, nothing holy, nothing beautiful, nothing joyous which He is not to His servants. No one need to be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need to be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we might talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to and of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all he has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall be always with Him, and we desire nothing more." - A.W. Tozer
August 15, 2010
This life is not your own
Well, the summer is coming to an end, two weeks from tonight I'll be at my apartment soaking in the last few hours of summer. I've been back from Africa for as long I was IN Africa for and God has continued to teach me things from the experience.
Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
Something that God has been continually hitting me with is the fact that this life is not about me. This life isn't mine. None of my possessions, relationships, none of my moments, nothing belongs to me. It's crazy to think about how most of our lives are centered on getting what WE want and on US being happy. If life is about our happiness, then what is the whole point?
I spent this past week at the beach with my extended family for a (mostly) all girls week. It was astonishing to me to look around on the beach at all of the people and to try and figure out what they were thinking. I love to put myself into other peoples heads and try to figure out who they are outside of the moment that I see them. It's so cool to think about how God created each and every person, and each of them has a purpose in His story, but so sad to think that most of the people we see every day live their lives as if they are the main character of THEIR story and not a small part in HIS. I'm guilty of living this way myself but it's insane to think about how many people in this world don't know or really just don't care to know that they have the opportunity to be a child of the King, the Creator of the Universe and can have access to His kingdom. How often do we stop to think that our emotions, what we want/like to do really doesn't matter? I know that for me, I have to make a conscious effort to see past my own mind and selfishness, it's hard. We live in a culture that idolizes 'self.' We're told, often indirectly, that we are the best and that we can do anything that we want. We're told that being driven and accomplishing OUR goals is what is important, getting ahead of everyone else is what's important- but what about everyone else. We, as much as we believe we are, are not the center of our world. As much as we try to control our lives, we are not the ones in control. We need to live acknowledging daily that our lives are not our own, our moments are fleeting and don't belong to us. We need to live with purpose, a purpose beyond ourselves, because after all, we aren't the main characters of our story.
During debrief after our trip they gave us a small book called "Unearth" it was all about processing everything that we had just seen overseas and transitioning back into the fast-paced American culture. I avoided reading the book until this past week, not because I didn't want help processing the trip, but after the first few days back the joy that I felt made me believe that I was okay, I was processing just fine and didn't need any help thinking through things, well now that the distractions of life have hit me head on (and this is only summer break!) I've found myself starting to "forget" and revert back to my "old mindset." I decided to read the book, not because I necessarily realized this but because I had finished everything else I brought to read and it was the only book I had left, I'm so glad I read it though. I've noticed since being home that I have avoided trying to talk about the trip or really even think about it too much. It's so strange to think that a little over a month ago I was living in a completely different world, a world where physical need was so blatant. It's kind of hard to think about where I was and how the people I got to know live daily, and are continuing to live while I sit in my house with four walls, a roof, running water, electricity, a bed for each person and more food than we could ever eat. The book talks about how it's easy to avoid this tension in our minds, it compares it to the awkwardness we often feel when we see a homeless person on the street. It talked about how while we struggle through all of this mentally to remember that GOD IS GOOD. In a lot of ways I feel like the people who live in need are so much better than us who have practically everything at our fingertips. We live in a world of excess where we can be so easily tricked into thinking that what we want is of importance, it's 'the norm' to live selfishly. We are called to live for God, not ourselves: "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:15
During my week at the shore I was blessed to spend an evening on the beach completely alone with nothing but my bible and my journal watching the sun set. It had been a few days since I had set apart significant time to just BE with God and talk with Him about what's going on in my mind, to separate myself completely from the world and distractions. I was reminded how easily I am distracted and how often my motives revolve around myself and not God. My prayer lately has been that God will purify my motives, that my life would revolve around HIM and not me.
I'm starting to crave the quiet, distraction-less times the times where I can just sit and write and think and be with God alone. Something new for me since I've returned from Africa is running, I've grown to love it- granted I don't make it very far and I'm not very fast but I love it because when I'm running it's a time that's practically distraction free. It's just me and God, no phone, no computer, no one else. Running is never something I thought I'd say I would enjoy.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble, but there's one last thing I wanted to share, a quote from the 'Unearth' book: "...there is an opportunity to be an offering every moment of everyday." Each moment of every day needs to be surrendered to God because the moments aren't for us to cling to and use as we please.
July 31, 2010
God's Fireworks
This is a journal entry from my trip in Africa that I thought I would share on here :)
July 4, 2010
"I'm pretty sure that homesickness was at an all time high for the team today. The end is drawing near and we know that it won’t be long until we’ll be close to the comforts of home. I think a lot of the home-missing today and to do with it being the 4th of July and people missing their traditions of the holiday at home and knowing that even though we’re on a different continent those traditions of fireworks and cookouts are still continuing.
Around dinnertime a huge thunderstorm started- all thunder and lightning- no rain. The lightning flashed as bright as beams of sun stretched across the dark night sky. After finishing up eating we debated on whether or not we should go out into the opening in front of our building to watch the whole thing. As we debated the power shut off (as it had about a million other times that day and every other day) and the lightning lit up the sky three times. We decided that we probably should go out and watch since it was pitch black and seeing to be able to do anything else was nearly impossible.
We went out on the porch and “ooooed” and “ahhed” at each strike (mostly just the girls because the boys were sick and had left halfway through dinner to go lay down.) After a little while the girls all grabbed hands and ventured out in the pitch black open area to stare up at the sky. We stood in a circle, holding hands, and sang as many patriotic songs as we could come up with at the top of our lungs- loud and off key. When we ran out of songs we just stood under the vast sky and admired the beauty of what was going on around us.
The sky was probably the MOST gorgeously, amazingly, beautiful thing I have EVER seen. There were few clouds and the stars were SO clear, the lightning struck around the stars as if dancing with joy. It. Was. Beautiful. Words cannot describe the beauty of the display God made. I stood there and tried to soak in as much of it to my memory as I could.
After some time one of the girls suggested that we pray to thank God for this beauty and pray for our country and families back home. We huddled together in a “grug” (our name for group hug) and began to pray. As the prayers ended, we said ‘amen’ and the huddle dismantled the power came back on. God’s fireworks display was over.
God showed us a small piece of His magnificence, beauty, and love through the lightning among the stars. We were homesick and missing the traditions of the home holiday, yet an ocean away God gave us the most spectacular light show we’ve ever seen. Even though it wasn’t the show we’re used to it was more glorious than any man-made display could ever be. It’s a few moments in time that I never want to forget. The time God made lightning flash among the stars."
July 4, 2010
"I'm pretty sure that homesickness was at an all time high for the team today. The end is drawing near and we know that it won’t be long until we’ll be close to the comforts of home. I think a lot of the home-missing today and to do with it being the 4th of July and people missing their traditions of the holiday at home and knowing that even though we’re on a different continent those traditions of fireworks and cookouts are still continuing.
Around dinnertime a huge thunderstorm started- all thunder and lightning- no rain. The lightning flashed as bright as beams of sun stretched across the dark night sky. After finishing up eating we debated on whether or not we should go out into the opening in front of our building to watch the whole thing. As we debated the power shut off (as it had about a million other times that day and every other day) and the lightning lit up the sky three times. We decided that we probably should go out and watch since it was pitch black and seeing to be able to do anything else was nearly impossible.
We went out on the porch and “ooooed” and “ahhed” at each strike (mostly just the girls because the boys were sick and had left halfway through dinner to go lay down.) After a little while the girls all grabbed hands and ventured out in the pitch black open area to stare up at the sky. We stood in a circle, holding hands, and sang as many patriotic songs as we could come up with at the top of our lungs- loud and off key. When we ran out of songs we just stood under the vast sky and admired the beauty of what was going on around us.
The sky was probably the MOST gorgeously, amazingly, beautiful thing I have EVER seen. There were few clouds and the stars were SO clear, the lightning struck around the stars as if dancing with joy. It. Was. Beautiful. Words cannot describe the beauty of the display God made. I stood there and tried to soak in as much of it to my memory as I could.
After some time one of the girls suggested that we pray to thank God for this beauty and pray for our country and families back home. We huddled together in a “grug” (our name for group hug) and began to pray. As the prayers ended, we said ‘amen’ and the huddle dismantled the power came back on. God’s fireworks display was over.
God showed us a small piece of His magnificence, beauty, and love through the lightning among the stars. We were homesick and missing the traditions of the home holiday, yet an ocean away God gave us the most spectacular light show we’ve ever seen. Even though it wasn’t the show we’re used to it was more glorious than any man-made display could ever be. It’s a few moments in time that I never want to forget. The time God made lightning flash among the stars."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)