My heart's halfway around the world...

Since the past few weeks my heart has been in Togo, I thought I'd re-share one of my journal entries that I shared on here just a few months after I returned to the states. It was written on July 3 of last year. See it here.

A Tuesday Rambling

Hey hey! So I was just wanting to write a little about life today.

1. I have become a baking fiend. I used to enjoy baking but not to this extent, this summer I've tried a few things and there is no end in sight!

Blueberry brown sugar cookies!

Last night since my family was away and I was up for some serious cooking experimentation I invited my best friend Kari over for a 'friendship appreciation dinner.' I made Parmesan crusted chicken, grilled vegetables and some grilled flavored corn on the cob. We topped it all off with some Ben and Jerry's Ice cream.

I just don't know what it is about this summer but lately I've become so interested in cooking & crafts I can't quite stand it! There are just so many things I want to try out! So if you enjoy free samples and/or are near me often beware: there may be baked goods coming your way!

2. This week at camp is the 4th of July parade. Each group comes up with a costume theme and then come to arts and crafts to bring it to life! I'm excited to see how it all turns out!

3. Last week the campers were learning about Hosea, after having a conversation with the bible teacher about it I realized I didn't know the story of Hosea at all (to be completely honest, I was always under the impression that the name Hosea sounded like a girl so I just assumed that Hosea was a girl- I know, insane). So I decided that I was going to read it- I was astounded by the story. Hosea is such an example of following the Lord's call despite trials,it's a story about God's redemption for all. I could not stop reading it. First of all Hosea was asked by God to marry a prostitute and Hosea did it. Then God gave them names for all their children with meanings like: not loved, not my people, and one was named after a massacre. These things (marrying a prostitute, the names of their children) were all so that God could use them to better share a message with the Israelite. Many of the messages Hosea shared with the people of Israel were based around their adulterous, stubborn hearts toward the Lord. God expresses His desire through the messages for His people to seek Him wholly, to turn away from the things that distract their hearts from Him and to earnestly yearn after Him. It spoke of how destructive idolization really is, no matter what you are idolizing, in Chapter 13 verse 9 God says through Hosea that when we live for the world and seeking the things of the world we are working against God. The book of Hosea really made me think about what I myself seek other than the Lord and what our society seeks in place of the Lord. If you haven't read it- do it. It's good stuff.

4. Really missing Togo and my team from last summer. I'm still working on reading through my journal from last summer and the stories almost always make me tear up- I miss it. I hope that someday God takes me back to Togo, but if not they will forever be in my heart and a part of my daily life. I know I've said it before about a billion times but Togo taught me so much and is still teaching me things. I'm so grateful for that opportunity and can't believe it's been a year already.

5. Last but not least, I came across this verse sometime last week and it's been on my mind ever since and so I am going to share it with you all:

"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5

Psalm 37 & Week 1 of Camp

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." Psalm 37:4-6

Last night while I was checking my email and such before bed I came across a video talking about the above verse and it really got me thinking so I thought I'd share the thoughts with you! When we commit our lives to Christ and let the Holy Spirit take control and change our hearts and mindset, the Lord's desires become our own. Our purposes and desires transform into His own purposes and desires. He will make His plans come to be, and he will do it gloriously! This only happens though we we let go of our grip of control on our own lives, when we stop trying to make our personal plans and desires come to pass. When we make it about Him and not about us. When we commit our ways to Him and delight ourselves only in him, all of our ways, plans, desires, hopes, thoughts, attitudes, and purposes to Him- they will succeed. We were created by a loving, all-powerful, all-knowing God who has a perfect plan- not to trust him and give him full control seems ridiculously stupid yet every day I find myself more concerned with how I feel and what I want than who He is and putting Him first in every area of my life.

On another note...

It's half-way through the first 'official' week of camp- so far so good! It's definitely different being the arts and crafts teacher than it has been counseling in the past. Instead of having a small group of kids to get to know well, I get to see every child in the camp at least two times each week. I'm trying and praying about ways to minister to such a large amount of kids in a way that truly shows them Christ. I'm loving just talking with random kids that I see throughout the day and asking them about what they've been learning in bible this week. As an 'extra time' craft this week I had some of the groups make gospel bead bracelets where each bead represents a part of the gospel- I had the kids put each bead on and asked them what they thought each bead might represent. It's been so cool to hear how much some of these kids already know about the gospel and to hear some of them communicate it to their peers. I'm also loving seeing how unique each child's individual projects are- every. one. is. different. (even the ones that are trying to 'match' a friend's picture) it's awesome to see the individuality that God's given these kids. (I'll have to post some pictures of a few of the projects!)

His sweetness has no end...

Looking through my journal from last summer and stumbled across this quote I wrote down.

"There is nothing good, nothing holy, nothing beautiful, nothing joyous which He is not to His servants. No one need to be poor, because, if he chooses, he can have Jesus for his own property and possession. No one need be downcast, for Jesus is the joy of heaven, and it is His joy to enter into sorrowful hearts. We can exaggerate about many things; but we can never exaggerate our obligation to Jesus or the compassionate abundance of the love of Jesus to us. All our lives long we must talk of Jesus, and yet we should never come to an end of the sweet things that might be said of Him. Eternity will not be long enough to learn all He is, or to praise Him for all He has done, but then, that matters not; for we shall always be with Him and we desire nothing more."

- A.W. Tozer "The Pursuit of God"

...thinking I may be doing a reread of that book this summer :) sooooo good.

Baby Sister's Graduating

Tomorrow night my baby sister will graduate from high school. It's crazy how quickly time goes, I remember the day she came home from the hospital- how excited I was to have a real baby to play with instead of my dolls.

I remember being incredibly eager to help out in any way that my parents would would let me, their four year old, help. I gave her bottles, read her stories, sang songs with her and dressed her up in some crazy things. A year or so later once I started school my eagerness of wanting to help her in any way changed to wanting to teach her everything I knew. I begged my teachers for their extra worksheets and set up a classroom in my basement and nearly every afternoon and weekend from kindergarten up through elementary school my sister, some neighborhood kids and I would play school. She will forever be my first student.

As time went on our friendship as sisters has changed, as I'm sure most siblings do. There were times when we were super close and other times where we were more distant and got on each other's nerves quite easily. When I left for college I left a girl who was entering 9th grade, who was still trying to figure out who she was and was as goofy as most any other 14 year old is. Each time I have come home for break I found she had matured in ways that she didn't really even notice. These past few times especially I have come home to a beautiful, strong, and bubbly young woman. This summer she is not at all the same as she was the summer before I left for college. It's crazy how much of a difference 4 years makes in a person's life.

I'm so blessed to have her as a sister and it is so incredibly exciting to be able to have seen her grow up and be apart of her life. It's been beyond cool to have conversations about the bible and God and it is immensely encouraging how eager she is to build a firm relationship with Christ. She's one amazing girl, she is the funniest, prettiest, most amazing girl I know and I can't wait to see what God has in store for her in her college years and beyond. Rachel, I love you.

Learning about trust.......s l o w l y

Much has happened I guess since my last life-update. This past weekend seems like such a whirlwind! Friday-Saturday was my camp's staff overnight orientation, met some new people, played some crazy camp games, had sessions to remind us of all the policies and rules that go along with working at a camp, and met some new people. Saturday I needed to leave camp early for my little sister and her best friend's graduation party. Ethan came down for it, and it was nice to spend some time with him since I hadn't seen him since memorial day weekend for a few hours. There were MANY children at the party, it was great :). (And can I make a side note to say it feels like it's the summer of babies, I feel like I haven't gone more than a few days without playing with and holding a baby and I am COMPLETELY fine with that :).) Then, today after church we had a small reunion with some of the people that I was in youth group with in high school- it was sooo great to all be in one place to catch up, and reminisce about some of fun things that went on back then.

A few weeks ago, I found out that the nannying job that I thought I had for this summer wasn't going to work out because the family no longer had a need. At first I was upset because I really thought that God had orchestrated it so perfectly (you know, me planning for God and thinking that the way I think is what He's thinking... so doesn't match up with Isaiah 55:8 but you know...). I started applying all over for part-time evening jobs, but most places don't really like to hear that you can only work for a short amount of time each day and that you'll only really be there about 2 months all together, so I received no calls, no interviews- which I was okay with.
At this point I started repeating to myself daily, 'God provides all I need and if He doesn't provide a second source of income for me this summer, that's okay because He's in control and ultimately knows what I will need for the upcoming year.' To be honest this was so hard for be to be optimistic about partially because I had so many ideas of things I wanted to do this summer before work started and I haven't really been able to do any of them and partially because I feel like I really need to be saving up for after college. So, I was disappointed, but once again- planning my own life, not letting God take control and do His whole omnipotent thing never really works out. After I had pretty much given up on the idea of having another job this summer I saw that a new hourly childcare center was opening in just a few weeks in my area- I thought 'okay- THIS will be my last attempt,' the next day I got an email telling me that they were conducting their final interviews that night and what do you know- I got a job! (Well, they told me they are going to hire me once their enrollment goes up and the open but, still.) All about patience and trust. Clearly I'm still really in need of some work on the trust and letting go of control thing.

Tomorrow, I will start my first work day at camp with a few campers (I've gone in for set-up and clean up a few times already). Summer is getting rolling this week! I think that's enough of an update for now, hope your summers are going wonderfully as well whether they're busy or relaxed!

Also, check out this song- it's a new summer favorite :)